Ken’s Journal – Entry One

Omi gave me a livejournal code. Then he walked me through getting a journal. This is really weird. What am I supposed to do with a journal? The first thing I did was make it a friends-only journal – and then I refused to list any friends. What’s the point of a journal that everyone can see? Isn’t a journal supposed to be a private thing? I don’t understand why Omi is upset about that. No one else should be able to read a person’s journal. It’s a private thing, right? I can put all my personal stuff in here.

Now I just have to think of some personal stuff…

Current mood: Confused

Current music: Youji singing in the shower (I don’t think he knows we can hear him)

Ken’s Journal – Entry Two

Aya made me work with Youji today. He just wants to work with Omi… Youji never does any work; he just flirts with the girls. Aya and Omi working together will leave nothing left to be done. But with Youji, I have to do all the work. It’s not fair. Why can’t I work with Omi?

I wonder if Aya has a thing for Omi.

Current mood: Frustrated

Ken’s Journal – Entry Three

The kids across the street are driving me CRAZY! I can understand about people wanting to listen to shitty music, if they think it’s good. But do they have to play it so goddamn loud? This is incredibly frustrating! I can’t concentrate! Argh! Will they never shut up???

Current mood: Angry

Current music: whatever crap they’re playing across the street

Ken’s Journal – Entry Four

Maybe it’s Youji who has a thing for Omi, and Aya is trying to keep them apart. I was stuck working with Youji again, but he’s been actually doing his work. He seems distracted, and I didn’t see him flirt with a single girl. When I asked what was up, he just shrugged. There are things going on that I don’t know about. But everywhere on the schedule, either Aya is working with Omi or he’s working with me and Omi. I’m always working with Youji, too. I never get any shifts with Omi any more. That’s weird, because Aya knows me and Omi are best friends.

Maybe I was right the first time, and Aya has a thing for Omi. He’s trying to keep Omi from working with me or Youji alone, so that he can have Omi all for himself.

He can’t do that. I’m going to have to talk with Omi.

Current mood: Worried

Ken’s Journal – Entry Five

Omi said not to worry about it. He says that Aya is having a problem but he can’t talk about it with me, and the schedule change is just for right now. Then he asked me to trust him.

I hate it when he does that. How am I supposed to argue?

I guess Aya doesn’t have a thing for Omi. That’s good, though. I wouldn’t want to lose my best friend, and if Aya and Omi were together, I’d never get to see him. Aya seems like the jealous type, you know?

Objectively, there’s no reason for Aya not to want Omi. Omi’s cute. That sounds stupid, but I can’t think of any other words. He’s tall but not too tall, fit and well-shaped, and he has really pale, smooth skin. Plus, his face has this kind of beauty… I don’t know how, exactly, just that it does.

That’s weird, though. I don’t know why I thought right away that Aya had a thing for Omi. Aya probably isn’t even interested in guys. Maybe it’s just because I know Omi is, that makes me think guys like him.

Current mood: Weird

Ken’s Journal – Entry Six

Those kids are playing their music AGAIN! Is it just me, or does that music get louder every time? Goddamn it…

I need to escape.

Current mood: Irritable

Current music: I wouldn’t call it music

Ken’s Journal – Entry Seven

I got to work with Omi! But only after bugging Aya. I have to work a double shift, but that’s okay. Otherwise I wouldn’t see Omi at all today, because of school and homework. I just finished my shift this morning with Youji, and I’m taking a break.

Then I work with Omi in a few minutes. He just got home from school.

The only problem is, now is when all the crazy girls come in and want to buy millions of flowers. That usually doesn’t settle down for a few hours, so I won’t get to talk to Omi until we’re less busy.

Talking to Omi is worth it, though. It always makes me feel better, even if I’m already in a good mood.

Current mood: Content

Ken’s Journal – Entry Eight

We watched a movie last night after the shop closed up. Youji stayed in and watched with us, but Aya didn’t. I don’t know why. He just said he didn’t feel like it, and left. Omi looked sort of uncomfortable at that.

I get the feeling I’m missing something.

I don’t remember what movie it was. Some action thing, I think. I remember that Youji left about halfway through, and Omi fell asleep leaning halfway on the couch arm somewhere near the end. He was looking tired earlier, too. It might have something to do with Aya’s problem. Omi worries too much. I had to wake him up so he could go to bed. I didn’t want to, because he looked so comfortable. It was weird, I sat there and watched him for a while and missed the end of the movie. When they started rolling credits, I realized I should wake him up and go to bed.

I could’ve carried him, but I felt weird about that. It’s too… I don’t know. Too corny, I guess. I’m not sure what Omi would’ve done if he woke up and I was carrying him.

Current mood: Confused

Ken’s Journal – Entry Nine

No one tells me anything in this house.

And those kids from across the street are at it again.

………

Goddamn it, why won’t someone make them shut up????????????

Current mood: Aggravated

Current music: Noise, and more noise

Ken’s Journal – Entry Ten

I’m attracted to Omi.

I am

Attracted

To Omi.

Weird, huh? We were just fooling around, lounging on the couch, and flipping through channels. I stole the popcorn bowl, and he took the pretzels. I eat faster than Omi does, so I ran out before he did and tried to steal some of his. He pushed me back, but there was this second where we were really close, and I could feel him breathing.

I’m still just nineteen, I react to stuff like that. And I haven’t had any kind of sex for a while. I never liked it being just casual, and I haven’t had any time for a girlfriend. Being that close to Omi made me… you know…

It’s stupid that I can’t write it. No one’s going to see this.

I think I want to sleep with my best friend.

Current mood: Distressed

Ken’s Journal – Entry Eleven

Whatever Aya’s problem is, I hope he works it out. It’s becoming more and more obvious that there’s something wrong. I can’t even be around him any more. I’m pretty sure Youji feels the same way, too – he’s avoiding Aya like the plague. Omi is the only one who seems to want to spend any time with him at all any more.

Omi should spend time with me. I would be better for him than Aya.

That’s stupid, though, Omi’s not with Aya like with him with him. He’s trying to help him with his problem. I want Aya’s problem to go away. Omi’s time is precious. He should be spending it all with me.

Current mood: Jealous

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twelve

Got into a fight with Youji. What is his problem? I just asked him if he knew why Aya was being so upset all the time, and he snapped back that of course he didn’t, and how the fuck should he know. Then he told me I should stop drooling down the back of Omi’s shirt and ask Aya himself if I wanted to know.

I don’t have to take that kind of shit.

Anyway, after we’d totally demolished the kitchen with our fighting, he muttered some kind of apology and went upstairs. I have a cut lip, and he has a black eye. I think that means I won.

And I thought Aya had problems. Christ!

I’m going to leave the house before Omi comes home and sees the kitchen. I don’t know where Aya is, but I’d rather not run into him before the mess is cleaned up, either.

Current mood: Annoyed

Ken’s Journal – Entry Thirteen

Stupid house. Stupid roommates. Stupid fucking secrets!

STUPID MUSIC FROM ACROSS THE STREET!!!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: Infuriorated

Current music: ARGH!

Ken’s Journal – Entry Fourteen

Guess what? Aya is in love with Youji!

Yeah, I know, I didn’t believe it at first either. But apparently everyone knew except for me. Aya knew because… well, he had to. Omi knew because he somehow got Aya to confide in him. (don’t ask me how, the kid is a fucking genius) And Youji knew because Aya confessed to him.

Yeah, that’s right. That’s how the whole ‘problem’ thing started.

Youji said he was straight and didn’t like guys after Aya worked up the nerve to confess. I guess Aya was avoiding Youji, and that’s why he scheduled himself to work with Omi all the time. And Youji stopped flirting with those girls because Aya’s confession was really making him think, and it made him irritable so that’s why he got pissed off at me for no reason.

Apparently I’m not the only one who jumps to conclusions, because Youji found Aya talking quietly with Omi and pretty much flipped out. Usually Youji is so laid back, you know… It was kind of surprising to see him get so mad over something like this. He accused Aya of lying to confuse him when he was really into Omi, or something. That’s how I found everything out. Who would’ve thought Youji was the jealous type, huh?

Oh yeah, and Youji’s decided he wants to give the Aya thing a chance. So they sorta worked that out. It’s a little tense around here, but here’s hoping things are moving in the right direction.

What a day.

Current mood: Shocked

Ken’s Journal – Entry Fifteen

It’s weird seeing Aya and Youji together. I’d never have thought of it.

Omi called me unobservant.

Geez.

Current mood: Contemplative

Current music: Aya and Youji making out (not really music)

Ken’s Journal – Entry Sixteen

I think the Aya and Youji thing is working. I don’t know how, but they seem happy enough. That’s good enough, I guess.

I’m not too sure what happened today. We were all sitting around, and Aya and Youji were trying to find a way to sit like a couple without looking stupid or awkward. It was kind of amusing, but I think Omi would’ve smacked me or something if I laughed. I can’t remember who brought it up, but someone said something about Aya’s decision to confide in Omi.

That’s when Omi said he was the perfect person since he understood exactly what Aya was going through. That means he’s got a thing for someone who doesn’t return it. That made me angry, because I want Omi and someone else could have him, and they said no. So I promised to beat up whoever it was.

That’s when, out of nowhere, Aya suddenly started laughing hysterically.

Aya.

Laughing.

I was so shocked, I forgot to be mad because it was me he was laughing at.

Omi tried to talk over Aya’s laughter and said that he didn’t want me to beat anyone up for him. Then he made a comment about me being the only one of us left who wasn’t specifically attracted to another guy.

That’s when Youji started laughing right along with Aya.

I hate Youji.

Current mood: Irritated

Ken’s Journal – Entry Seventeen

WILL THEY NEVER SHUT UP?????????????

Current mood: Pissed off

Current music: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

Ken’s Journal – Entry Eighteen

I’ve decided I don’t care about Aya and Youji. They suddenly want a lot of shifts together, so I get all the shifts with Omi.

I love Omi.

There was nothing to do today, so we were talking. I wanted to find out who rejected him, and he wouldn’t tell me. He just said it’s nothing, it’s not important, don’t worry about it. Then he asked why Youji started laughing when he said I wasn’t attracted to any guys.

I changed the subject at that point.

Who would’ve thought Omi could be so manipulative?

Current mood: Bemused

Ken’s Journal – Entry Nineteen

I’m going to kill whoever Omi’s in love with. It’s not fair. Why does someone else get him? And they don’t even want him! I would be much better for him.

Maybe it’s someone at his school. That’d be good. Some teen punk I can beat the shit out of. No one’s got the right to treat Omi like that.

Omi’s mine. Mine mine mine.

No one treats my Omi like that.

Current mood: Protective

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty

Omi. Omi Omi Omi.

Omi.

Omi Omi Omi Omi Omi.

I’m fixated.

Current mood: Obsessive

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty-One

I will kill Youji. I will do it slowly, and painfully.

He told Aya that I ogle Omi. Ogle! Who uses the word ‘ogle’ any more? And I do not ‘ogle’ Omi! It makes it sound like I’m some kind of pervert!

I am not a pervert. Maybe I would like to rip off Omi’s clothes and screw him senseless right on the living room floor. That doesn’t make me a pervert. If I were a pervert, I would’ve included whipped cream.

Ah… actually, that sounds really good…

Whipped cream and Omi…

…….

Okay, now I have a problem.

Current mood: Horny

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty-Two

Having dreams about Omi. Not good. Need fresh air and a good washing machine for my sheets. Not good. Need to stop trying to peek through the cracks in the wall while Omi is getting changed. Not good.

Talking in disjointed phrases.

Not good.

Current mood: Frustrated

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty-Three

Omi fell asleep on the couch. He’s half curled up, and his shirt is bunching enough to show skin. Aya and Youji are getting along better than ever – by the distracting sounds coming from upstairs.

I’m on the computer. Trying to keep myself busy.

Distracting sounds + sleeping Omi.

I’m going to die.

Damnit, I’ve never been known for excessive self-control or patience. I could go upstairs… but… but…

Excuse me for a minute while I commit a terrible sin.

Current mood: Desperate

Current music: Aya and Youji doing naughty things (again, not really music)

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty-Four

Woke up Omi. Probably inevitable. Hard to sleep through molestation. Didn’t seem to mind.

Is sleeping again, this time for good reason.

Got some. Very happy.

Talking in phrases again.

This time good.

Current mood: Satisfied

Ken’s Journal – Entry Twenty-Five

I was Omi’s unrequited love. Weird, huh? I mean, it wasn’t even unrequited. But he didn’t know that, I guess…

We’re good now. If I can use ‘good’ to describe what should be ‘deliriously happy’. I am on top of the world. Omi is mine.

Mine mine mine, this time for real.

All is right with the world.

Current mood: Happy

Current music: Kids across the street (actually doesn’t sound too bad now. Maybe I’ll have to borrow their CD)

The End