The morning light that interrupted Shiun’s dreams was so similar to the light of healing aether that she almost expected to see the faces of her friends gathered around her when she woke. Instead, the ceiling of her room at the Baldesian Arsenal greeted her, and a glance around showed that she was alone.

There were fresh flowers on the bedside table, though, and she couldn’t help but smile. Alisae, most like.

It was uncertain how much time had passed since their triumphant return from Ultima Thule. Shiun had been stable but notably wobbly on her feet and weary to the bone from the battle with Zenos and the toll her recovery was taking on her. So, after a brief celebration, she had been warmly but firmly ushered into her room and given instruction to rest. Which she had done, though she had woken for short moments to a different Scion in the room each time.

This was, however, the first time she’d woken alone – which was likely a good sign. Shiun raised herself up, grimacing at the little aches and pains that complained at her as she did, and sat back against her pillow and the headboard.

She felt rested – finally – and well enough to be up and about, though she suspected her friends would beg to differ. A brief check showed that her battle wounds were fading nicely thanks to the healing skills that bad been used upon her. Shiun felt weak as a newborn babe and sore in various places, but she was surely well on her way to recovery now.

What she craved most was a bath, a meal, and some company – not necessarily in that order.

The door opened then, as if in answer to her internal plea, and the scent of porridge met her nose even before Y’shtola came into view carrying the tray with it.

“Ah, you’re awake.” The older miqo’te smiled warmly at her, shifting the flowers to set her tray at the bedside. “Your aether looks a great deal better as well. ‘Tis heartening to see.”

“‘Tis heartening to feel.” Shiun accepted the bowl and spoon, and began to eat ravenously. She paused after the first few bites to add, “I hope all of you have managed to get some sleep while I was out of it.”

“Some more so than others.” Y’shtola did not elaborate on that, but instead went ahead with, “I should draw you a bath and leave you to wash up. The scent of battle lingers still.”

Shiun would’ve been more embarrassed by that if she hadn’t felt the need herself, most urgently. “Please,” she agreed, and then hesitated, letting the spoon rest on the bowl as she considered her next words. “I noticed that not… everyone has been in to visit me. Unless I slept through it.”

Y’shtola, of course, saw right through her. “You speak of G’raha.” She offered a pointed look to Shiun’s abashed stare. “I can’t speak to his reasons, but given the state of things between you, I’d imagine he felt his company may be less than welcome.”

“It’s not!” Shiun blurted, and then immediately turned her eyes down to her porridge when Y’shtola raised an eyebrow at her. “He has never been anything less than welcome,” she mumbled.

Things had been notably strained between them since that one memorable night, it was true, but they had both seemed to be doing their best to act as though everything was normal. G’raha had spoken to her in his usual warm manner, and Shiun had done her best to respond in kind, but the guilt had gnawed at her constantly.

Right up until the moment he’d been stolen away from her by Meteion.

Her desperation to forge onward, to save all of her friends, had already been urgent, but at that point, she felt the added weight of all of the things they had left unsaid between them. Of all of the things she could have said – of all the times she could have listened. At no point had she ever let him say his piece; not once had she given him even half a chance to override her own doubts. With every step onward, her heart had throbbed with hurt.

At some level, she knew, she had wanted him to soothe her frightened heart. Laughably simple, really. He had rightly left the matter in her own hands and she would have to soothe it herself.

There had been no time to talk through any of it then, as occupied as they were with saving the universe – but then she was waking to his tears and the reality that she could very well have died and none of those things would ever have been said at all.

It was a sobering thought.

“‘Tis past time to reassure him of that.” Y’shtola’s voice cut into her reverie; when she looked up, her friend offered an arch little smile. “It would land best if coming from your own lips, I would imagine.”

She was right, of course. Shiun ducked her head again, silently acknowledging the point. “I don’t suppose I’ll be allowed to get up and go find him?”

Y’shtola shook her head. “Krile and I were both in agreement that you should be abed for at least one more day following your awakening.” She spread her hands at Shiun’s disappointed pout. “So I suppose I shall have to go and fetch him for you.”

That brightened her up – and stirred her nervous heart into a frenzy at the same time. “Thank you, Y’shtola.”

“Don’t mention it. Now.” Y’shtola turned to face the washbasin. “Let us see about your bath.”

---

She was able to wash herself for the most part, though in tottering to and from the washbasin Shiun was forced to acknowledge the wisdom of her healers. Walking was yet a chore, but she felt her strength would come back with more rest, as they had prescribed.

It was somewhere towards late afternoon or early evening, judging by the light, when she had tucked herself back into bed. Y’shtola had gone with the dishes during her bath, and Shiun was sitting propped on the pillows, lazily brushing her hair.

She was just starting to wonder if there might be a book nearby that she could occupy herself with when there was a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” she called out.

The door opened to reveal G’raha, and her heart kicked up again with furious activity. “Y’shtola mentioned that you wished to see me?” The words were hesitant, and he hovered in the doorway, as if uncertain of his welcome. Still, his eyes met hers and despite his obvious trepidation they still glowed warmly.

Shiun nodded, willing her nerves to cease pestering her – with little impact, unfortunately. “Will you come and sit with me?”

“If you would like.” At her ascent, he came into the room, letting the door shut behind him, and took up the seat by the bed. He was already looking somewhat fidgety, fingers twitching as if they itched to pluck at some piece of clothing, but still his eyes were on her, expectant.

Where to start? She had rehearsed this moment in her head over the past bell or so, but now it all seemed so much less clear. Shiun swallowed hard, and decided to get straight to the heart of the matter. “Raha, I owe you an apology.”

He blinked at her, clearly taken aback. “Whatever for?”

It was so like him not to blame her, too. Shiun sighed. “That night we…” It was too much to spell it out; she quickly changed tack, feeling heat rise on her cheeks. “I mean, the night after I returned from the moon. I went ahead and started that without considering your feelings, and I’m sorry.” She held up a hand as he tried to speak, and continued, “I know we both wanted it. But we should’ve talked, either before or after, and I did not. It was unfair to you. I’m deeply sorry.” She bowed her head low.

Beside her, G’raha drew in a shaky-sounding breath. “I won’t deny that I have lost some sleep over it,” he admitted; when she raised her eyes, he offered a rueful smile. “But did I or did I not agree to shoulder some of your burdens? ‘Twould be poor of me to complain after making the offer, and I can but imagine the pressure you were under.” He gave a helpless little shrug. “My feelings aside, it seemed the least I could do.”

“But you shouldn’t have to put your feelings aside!” Shiun burst out, aghast. G’raha was so sweet, so self-sacrificing, and she had taken advantage. Her heart felt like it had risen to her throat; she had to swallow hard around the ache. “I should never have put you in that position to begin with! It was horrible of me!”

“Shiun…” There was a storm of some emotion in his eyes that she couldn’t place. “Please, my friend, do not be so hard on yourself. I but took what you gave, and full willingly.” Now it was his turn to notably swallow, and he looked away from her eyes. “‘Tis – ‘Tis only that I mistook the feelings behind it, but rest assured, you have no need to – “

“You did not!” The words were out of her mouth before she could think twice. Shiun shook her head furiously, regarding him with determination as his gaze flew up to her again. “There was no mistake on your part. Only mine.”

His mouth fell open. “But…”

“G’raha Tia.” She drew herself up as much as she could against the pillows, and took a deep breath, willing down the fierce trepidation in her heart and drowning the memory of her mother’s scars with that of G’raha’s tears. “I have known that I was in love with you since the Exarch turned to crystal before my eyes.”

That hung in the air between them for a beat.

His eyes were wide with astonishment. “But,” he repeated, weakly, “you did not let me speak when I wished to tell you my own feelings.”

Shiun lowered her eyes. “I know.”

“And you have been avoiding me for some time now.”

She clenched her hands in the bedsheets. “‘Twas my own feelings which I have been avoiding.” When she raised her eyes again with effort, he was gazing at her with a kind of helpless longing that made her throat tighten. “I have missed you dearly.”

His eyes had grown suspiciously shiny. “And I, you.” He reached out then and untangled her fingers from the bedsheet, clasping her hand between both of his. “But before I speak my mind, tell me: what has changed, that now you would bare your heart to me?”

The dry, somewhat rough warmth of his hands bled into hers, and she felt it all the way down to her soul. “Only my own mind.” Shiun shook her head. “When I was but a babe, my mother fled Hingashi for Eorzea, to escape the abuse of my father.” She took in a breath, letting it out slowly as she tried not to lose herself in the memories. “She was a good mother, but she was… traumatized. She would… tell me things, as I grew up and when she found me playing with boys my age. Show me her scars. Tell me that” – It was difficult to get the words out, but Shiun forged onward. – “that men could not be trusted. That no matter what, they would turn on me in the end.”

G’raha was searching her with his eyes, his eyebrows coming together on his forehead. “That is…” He squeezed her hand, sympathy bleeding through the gesture. “I’m truly sorry, Shiun. And yet, I cannot bring myself to believe that you have mistrusted half and more of your comrades for so long.” He tilted his head slightly. “What’s different in my case?”

“I trust you, Raha. More than anything. More than anyone else.” She had to make that very clear. “But I’ve never been so… attracted before you.” Heat rose on her cheeks, and she had to look away from his eyes. “It terrified me. I could not stop seeing my mother’s scars; hearing her words. I didn’t know what to do.”

She could see the nod from the corner of her eyes. “And now…?”

“At the end of the universe, I thought for certain I would die. I could feel myself dying.” Shiun shut her eyes, shuddering. “And my first thought… the thing that I ached with regret for… was the fact that you would never know I loved you.”

G’raha inhaled sharply, and his fingers tightened around her hand. “Say it again,” he entreated, a little shakily.

She looked up, and found him staring at her with such intense yearning that she could not have resisted his request if she’d wanted to. “I love you.”

He was leaning almost before the last syllable passed her lips, chasing it with his own and stealing her breath. The kiss was hard and desperate, as if G’raha were afraid that she would slip away if he didn’t put everything into it at once. One of his hands left hers and cupped her face, gently but firmly. Shiun’s heart pounded against her chest as she met him partway, pouring all of her own longing back at him.

After several long moments, he pulled back, leaning his forehead against hers as they breathed heavily. “Though I still believe you have done me no wrong,” he murmured, tracing her cheek with his thumb, “if you would show penance nonetheless, then please, grant me this: allow me to speak my piece fully.” There was a kind of fierce determination in his expression. “No interruptions or deferrals.”

Shiun had to clear her throat before she could speak, that lump in her throat giving no quarter. “I promise.”

“Then allow me to bare my soul to you.” G’raha shut his eyes. “I have always found you attractive, ’tis true, though I think my feelings grew more upon catching glimpses of you in battle. I yearned to attract that level of single-minded focus for myself. When your eyes shied away from me, I could think of nothing but drawing them back. When you smiled, the world lit up.” He smiled ruefully. “I was quite enamored with you, and waking to find you gone, and in such a swift, brutal fashion…” He shook his head minutely, shuddering. “It lit a fire in me. That fire had been enough to sustain me for those hundred years of waiting.”

So he had been interested in return. Shiun felt a rush of gratification and dread flow through her, and tried to sit with the discomfort. It’s all right. This is G’raha. He won’t hurt me. She knew it to be true in her heart, and the little part of her brain that still struggled fell silent.

G’raha was still speaking. “When I met you again, oh…” He opened his eyes then, and the depth of warmth and affection in them shook her. “It was as though you came to life before me. Not simply the object of a boy’s fancy, but real. During our conversations, when you confessed your insecurities and heard mine own, I felt that the more I knew you, the more I longed to know. You were stubborn and fierce, shy and prone to babbling, and I knew then that I loved you. That one hundred years was worth it. I would give anything I had to see you safe, though my heart yearned to stay by your side.”

And he had resolved then to die for her. Shiun reflexively squeezed the hand that still held hers against a rush of irrational fear. He was there – he was safe. That resolution he had intended had not come to pass.

“And you can imagine my elation at being given the chance to do so,” G’raha continued, his smile brightening once more. He squeezed her hand in return. “Rest assured, I intend to stay here for all of my days – if you will have me.” He gazed into her eyes, seeking an answer once more. “Shiun, I love you.”

That was enough of a trigger; Shiun brought her hand to his face, leaning in to kiss him again as she felt her heart overflow with feelings. Without the doubt and trepidation to plague her, she felt free – light as a feather and near overwhelmed by her love for this man. He kissed her back with passion equal to her own, their lips moving in sync and their hearts seeming to beat against one another.

She was sliding her hand around to the base of his neck, tongue tracing invitingly along his lower lip, when he pulled back. He laughed breathlessly at her pout. “Forgive me,” he said, once more squeezing her hand. “You are yet injured, and I would not tire you overly.” His eyelids lowered a bit over his heated gaze. “Pray, take this as a promise of what will come later.”

Shiun could not help but shiver, a pleasant little tingle passing through her body. “I will hold you to that.”

“Please do.” He stroked his thumb along the line of her scales, gently tracing them out, and then leaned back away from her, allowing cool air to rush in. “For now, allow me the pleasure of your conversation.”

It was a shame, Shiun thought – but this: having him beside her, tension cleared and no secrets yet between them, was enough for the moment. And so she settled back against the pillows, looked into his smiling eyes, and allowed herself to feel at peace.

The rest could wait.