The following weeks were some of the best of Brynne’s life. Though she did return to the Source, it was with the feel of the Exarch’s lips still fresh on hers, and the memory of his loving smile still sharp in her mind. There was an uneasy quiet over the battlefield there, and so she took the opportunity to spend an increased amount of time on the First. And when she was not helping Thancred, Urianger, and Ryne with the entity known as Eden, she was most often in the Exarch’s company – walking, talking, making love, and everything in between. Some days they just sat together and read different books, lost in their studies and each other’s presence.

It did not surprise her that their affair quickly became known across the Crystarium. They were not exactly discreet, and she got the sense that the Exarch was rather done with keeping secrets. It did mean, however, that Lyna took a moment to speak with her.

“I have not seen him so content in all my years,” the Captain told her, and a small smile broke the normally serious expression on her face. “I pray that you have care with his heart. He deserves happiness, for the rest of his days if possible.”

Brynne nodded, smiling back warmly. “I had intended such from the beginning. You may rest assured his heart is safe with me.”

“That puts me at ease.” Lyna did indeed look relieved. “Thank you again, Warrior of Darkness.”

“‘Tis my pleasure and privilege. Think nothing of it.”

She meant it sincerely. But that did not mean that loving the Exarch was always easy.

“I would not soon throw my life away – not after the lengths you and yours went to save it,” he stated, at their meeting regarding the return of the Scions to the Source. “And so long as I breathe, I will spare no effort to see you safely home. But” – there was always a ‘but’ – “should all else fail, and your lives be at stake, there remains one sure method…”

Brynne felt as though her blood had turned to ice in her veins; she stared at him, aghast. He met her gaze squarely, almost defiantly, and she had to resist the urge to scream.

How can you even think of that now?

Fortunately, Alisae was much faster to anger, and her immediate reaction shattered the mood entirely, banishing the suggestion from the table. Brynne felt a small mote of satisfaction settle in her chest as she watched the Exarch pout and rub at his forehead. Even Y’shtola’s teasing did not so much discomfort her as catch her off guard.

She caught the Exarch’s arm as they were filing out. “We need to talk,” she urged him, staring daggers at his face, “privately.”

He shot her an apprehensive look, and then glanced at the others, just ahead of them. Y’shtola made a gesture of acceptance, sealing his fate. “Yes, of course,” he sighed, shoulders slumping. “A moment, everyone, if you would.”

“Oh, we have all day,” Alisae responded, crossing her arms with vicious satisfaction. “Take your time, Brynne.”

“We shall await thee without,” Urianger added, as they all moved to leave the Ocular.

Brynne waited until the doors had shut behind them before whirling on the Exarch, narrowing her eyes dangerously. “Would you care to explain to me your thought process?” she demanded. “I had thought, considering recent developments, that we had moved past grand sacrifices.”

He reached up a hand to rub at his eyes, avoiding her gaze. “I had thought that, perhaps… the situation might become dire enough that more extreme methods become necessary.” At that, he lowered his hand, apparently bolstering his resolve as he met her gaze. “Surely we must at least consider the possibility – ”

“Surely,” Brynne interrupted him, drawing herself up, “you know that none of us would even entertain the possibility of exchanging your life for theirs!” She crossed her arms over her chest. “It’s not on the table, so erase it from your mind.”

He pressed his lips together firmly. “If it came to it, I would – ”

“You would not!” She freed a hand and jabbed her finger at his chest, firmly. “Alisae has the right of it – your life is mine, and you do not have my permission to sacrifice it under any circumstance!”

They stared at each other for a long, charged moment, mouths set stubbornly.

The Exarch gave first, releasing a sigh and shutting his eyes briefly before opening them again to give her a rueful look. “‘Twas not my intention nor desire to argue with you,” he said, low and soft. “I will withdraw my suggestion – until and unless the situation calls for it.”

It was not the firm agreement that Brynne had wanted, but she truthfully did not want to continue the argument either. “I will take it – for now.” She relaxed her shoulders consciously, trying to set aside her fear, and regarded him with sincere concern. “I must say that I mislike your tendency to present self sacrifice as a solution. Please consider my heart before you do it again.”

He softened notably, reaching out to take her hands in his and pressing them to his chest. “My deepest apologies – I had not thought of – ” He stopped abruptly, seemed to think better of it, and sighed with resignation. “I must admit, ‘tis difficult for me to adjust my thinking, now that we…”

“Are lovers?” Brynne suggested, when it seemed he would not continue that thought. She offered a small smile. “‘Tis a new experience for me as well.” Curling her fingers around his, she added, “It all seems so delicate and fragile. You make me happier than I have ever felt in my life, but at the same time,  I fear for you more than any other.”

“We are of one mind then.” He returned her smile, leaning in to press their foreheads together. “I too find myself happier than I can remember being. And having lost you once…” He sucked in a breath before lifting her hands to softly press a kiss to her fingers. “‘Tis a despair I fear I could not survive again.”

“I will do my utmost to stay alive,” Brynne assured him, squeezing his hands. “And so you must promise me that you will do the same.”

“I promise,” he said without hesitation, and some of the tension in her chest eased at the words. “I will do everything in my power to preserve my own life.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” She leaned in to kiss him gently, and then backed off, tugging at his hands. “The others are waiting. Let’s go.”

“Indeed.” He came without resistance. “Let us not keep them waiting.”

So ended their first argument.

---

It would unfortunately not be the last.

Once the Exarch set to work with Beq Lugg, he became increasingly difficult to pull away. Brynne managed – barely – to claim his evenings, but come morning he would be up at first light and occupied until day’s end. She also found, per Urianger, that when she was not on the First, the Exarch would work through the night if they did not stop him.

When she scolded him for that, he insisted that the fruits of his research would be more than worth the effort. The argument would generally end with his asking her to trust him, and she found she had no response for that.

It did not keep her from worrying, however.

And then, the day came when he completed the soul vessel and his grand plan became clear.

Alisae asked the question that was at the front of Brynne’s mind. “And you’d be willing to take that risk?”

He nodded, smiling as though they spoke about a pleasant stroll through the gardens. “I would.”

“Mayhap our essences would blend. Or mayhap they would curdle. There is no telling what might occur.”

His earlier words filled her with apprehension. On one hand, she would be of course thrilled to return him to the Source, where he could accompany her on her adventures to his heart’s content. On the other…

It was not something that she wished to discuss in front of others. So, with some hesitation, she filed out with the Scions, leaving him with Beq Lugg.

Alisae appeared as though she were plagued with thoughts as well. She turned on Brynne immediately as they exited the tower. “What do you think of this… this risk?”

Brynne could only shut her eyes. “I don’t know what to think,” she responded honestly.

“Nor do I.” Alisae crossed her arms, gritting her teeth and looking off to the side. “I think it is at least promising that he’s given up thoughts of self-sacrifice and is looking to the future instead. But this…” She shook her head. “It’s reckless.”

“I want you to indulge me in a little recklessness.”

Once again, his words came back to her. “I’m sure he knows it is. But…”

“But it’s his dream, isn’t it? To return to the Source?” Alisae turned her gaze downward, her mouth settling in a thin line. “And… to be with you.”

That, more than anything, Brynne understood. And she was certain that, were their positions reversed, she would do everything in her power to make it to his side. One hundred years of waiting. There had to be a payoff. But to trust it to the whims of fate…

“I feel… I must indulge him.” She met Alisae’s gaze as her younger friend looked up at those words, and offered a one-sided smile. “Even at risk of losing him forever, I must not try to get in the way of his pursuit of his dreams. He wants to live. I know that.” She curled her hand into a fist and pressed it to her chest, trying to quell the ache within. “I must trust that his will is strong enough to see this through.”

Alisae’s expression cleared, some of the stress fading from it. “If that’s how you feel, then I’ve no further objections.” She gave a small smile in return. “But please, don’t agree to anything that would leave you with regrets.”

Regrets… She had plenty by then, filed away and cataloged within her mind, ready to be pulled out at the slightest trigger to each memory. Moenbryda, Haurchefant, Ysale, Palpalymo… It would be near unbearable to add G’raha’s name to that list. But she had to have faith.

And meanwhile, she had her duty as Warrior of Darkness. Which she would not fail at.

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