“No, I believe you have enough burdens without my adding to them.”

Those words were still cutting at Brynne throughout the meeting, and it continued as she split from her fellow Scions prior to their departure to Ahm Arang. She had returned from her battles, tired and sore and dispirited yet prepared for the work of comforting the various defenders of the Crystarium, and the Exarch had refused her.

Why, though? She was used to it, carrying the burdens of others. After all, she was the Warrior of Light – well, of Darkness now – and she knew how to be strong. ‘Twas the Exarch who had lost much and more in this attack, who might suffer the biggest regrets, and he turned aside her help… for what?

Because he didn’t want to burden her.

Somehow, amidst the dissatisfaction, there was an edge of relief. That this man, this leader, might be capable of shouldering his burdens without her help. That mayhap, in this area, he could be considered her equal.

Still, comrades could confide in one another. Trade burden for burden, so to speak.

There were still some hours before dawn, the appointed departure time, and Brynne had left the Ocular in some discontent. Something itched at the back of her head, a notion or an urge that wouldn’t quite surface so that she could examine it. And so, despite the fact that she was weary to the bone, she didn’t retire to her quarters for the precious remaining time.

She hadn’t consciously decided to head for the watchtower by the rookery, but her feet were carrying her in that direction, and when she realized it, the idea seemed sound enough. The Crystarium was still in some disarray, but there were a few Zun in the stables tending the Amaro who had been unsettled by the attack. She saluted them as she passed and moved on to climb the tower.

It was empty at the top, but she hadn’t expected otherwise. Rather than a regular guardpost, the tower seemed to be almost more of a lookout point. On one side, she could see the structure of the Crystarium, and on the other, the sprawling landscape of Lakeland.

They were still bringing in some of the wounded when she sat herself down at the edge of the platform. Slowly, over time, Brynne watched them trickle in, while guards rushed in and out of the Crystarium gates to attend to its defenses in case of another sin eater attack.

She was unsure of how long she sat there – it was still dark out, but the slow stream of activity at the Crystarium gates had thinned and a sort of calm was settling over Lakeland when she heard footsteps approach her from behind.

“You ought to be resting,” the Exarch chided her, before she had fully turned to regard him. When she did look, she noted the tension in his stance and across the breadth of his shoulders. “You’ve a long journey ahead of you.”

Brynne shrugged, halfway hampered by how she’d turned her upper body to face him. “You ought to be resting yourself,” she returned. “You’ve a city to manage, and that business will be fraught after tonight.”

He didn’t respond to that, but pressed his lips together in a hard line, stepping forward to join her at the edge of the platform.

She rearranged herself, shooting him a glance as she did. He made a striking figure in his usual stance, at the top of the tower in the moonlight. Hooded and mysterious, but strong. Likely comforting to anyone who might look to see him there – not that there was anyone to see at that point. But up close, the cracks were visible – the strain in the lines around his mouth, the slight slump of his shoulders, and the tension she’d noted earlier in his entire frame.

“If you’re going to stay,” Brynne said with a sigh, “could you please sit down? You’re making me nervous, towering over me like that.”

The Exarch turned his head to regard her, hesitating a moment as if unsure of how to respond to her request.

“Nobody’s going to see you taking a break at this hour,” she added wryly. “Except me, and I’m in no position to pass judgment.” She reached out to pat the space beside her. “Have a seat, Exarch.”

He seemed to consider it for a fraction of a second more, then released an audible breath and bent to deposit his staff on the floor of the platform before seating himself on the edge.

Brynne noted that he’d kept an arm’s length between them, though whether it was to avoid invading her space or to ensure he didn’t give the wrong impression about his intentions was unclear. She smiled at him. “Thank you for indulging me.”

“‘Tis no great imposition, I assure you.” A corner of his mouth lifted in response.

She made a soft sound of acknowledgement, and for a long moment they sat there without words. Brynne closed her eyes and just took in his presence, trying not to imagine him as G’raha. It was near impossible, but she focused on the strength of will he displayed as a leader. The wise, kind smiles. The bold way he responded to danger. The care he showed for her, someone who he had summoned to fight for him.

He may have attracted her for being similar to G’raha, but his strengths were all his own.

“I feel,” she broke the silence, “that I owe you an explanation, Exarch.” Without waiting for him to question her, she plunged on. “During our last time together in this place, I suddenly… propositioned you. It must have been a shock.”

He was quiet for a moment. Then, “To put it mildly, yes.”

There was enough good humor in his tone that Brynne couldn’t help but smile. “Well, it wasn’t my best laid plan. I suppose I could blame it on the spirits I drank, but I wasn’t so intoxicated that I couldn’t think clearly.” She shook her head. “No, it was entirely my bad idea.”

That hung in the air between them. The Exarch tipped his head at her, urging her to continue.

She drew in a breath, steadying herself. “You remember I told you that you reminded me of someone?” She didn’t wait for an affirmation. “Well, I wasn’t completely honest with you about my reasons. To be fair, I wasn’t being honest with myself.” Her smile turned wry. “It wasn’t simply that I wanted to bed him. I… had stronger feelings.”

“I see.” Unbelievably, there was some sympathy in the Exarch’s tone. “You said before that he is gone now. My condolences.”

“Oh, he’s not dead.” Brynne sighed, leaning back on her hands and tipping her face upward to look at the stars. “Though I suppose he might as well be. I’m sure you remember the tale I told you, back when you explained to me that the tower lay open.”

He stilled beside her. “I do.”

“Yes, well, at the time I wasn’t about to be very forthcoming with my feelings,” she explained. “As I’m sure you’ve guessed by now, I very much wanted to bed G’raha Tia. But something always stilled my hand.” She shut her eyes, releasing a long breath. “It’s taken me two years to come to the realization that it was because I wanted… more than that.” She grinned ruefully. “And I still had to be told, mind. I didn’t have this epiphany on my own.”

The Exarch was quiet beside her. When she turned to look at him, he was staring out at the Lakeland scenery, expression inscrutable. After a moment or so of what felt like an awkward silence, he finally turned back to her. “If you believe that you have insulted me somehow, you may rest assured that you have not.” His lips curved in a smile. “If you believe only one thing about me, believe this: I would never expect anything more from you than exactly what you have offered.”

It was her turn to be stunned. Brynne blinked, staring back at him. “Not insulted? But I’d meant to use you as a replacement for someone else!”

“I am aware,” he responded, calm as ever. “However, the fact of the matter is that you have been perfectly honest with me, based on what you knew at the time. If I recall correctly, your stated reason for seeking my… ah, company… was that I reminded you of someone else.”

That brought her up short. “I suppose that’s true.” She had never liked the idea of lying or concealing things. And, that being the case… “‘Tis not the only reason I still wish to bed you, though.”

His mouth dropped open. “You still wish that? But – ”

She leaned towards him, reaching up impulsively to lay a finger on his lips. “Rest assured, Exarch,” she said, offering him a smirk, “any reason you could offer against it, I have surely thought of already. I want you. Not simply the memory of G’raha Tia. You, who stood your ground so defiantly against Vauthry’s demands. You, of whom all of your people speak so fondly. You, who has shown me every kindness since I arrived, and now offer me even more despite my unreasonable desires.” She looked up past the line of the hood on his face, into the space where his eyes must be. “You may hide your face, but I can still see you.”

The Exarch was still for a moment as her words hung between them; then at once the mouth beneath her finger spread into a smile. He reached up to take hold of her hand before she could withdraw it, and turned it to allow him to brush his lips against the back of it. “Indeed,” he assented, and she felt the warm breath of his exhale. “And I fear the more I see of you, the more helpless I feel against your charms.”

Heat prickled along the edges of her face, steadily climbing her cheeks. Brynne let out a shaky breath, caught momentarily in the warmth she felt from his hidden gaze. It was a heady feeling, to command the desire of this mysterious, inscrutable man. The Exarch seemed to hold all of his cards close to his chest, but here he was, opening himself to her in such a way…

Mayhap he couldn’t help himself.

That thought wasn’t helping her to cool down any. “You certainly have a way with words,” she responded, trying to regain some sense of grounding. “Have care, Lord Exarch, or you’ll have a besotted Warrior of Darkness on your hands.”

“‘Tis a fate many a man would envy.” He lowered her hand, unwinding his fingers from around it to allow her to take it back. “Alas that I cannot take advantage of the opportunity.”

Alas, indeed. “The Lightwardens will not evade us long,” she reminded him, and spread her hands. “Then you can take advantage to your heart’s content.” She tipped her head forward to look at him through her lashes. “I look forward to it.”

“Ah yes.” There was an odd note in his voice; he regarded her with a smile, but there was something wistful at the edges of it. “It will not be long, indeed.”

Light was beginning to spill from the horizon; Brynne shifted her gaze to the direction of the sun’s slow attempt to rise. “That will be my warning,” she said, readying herself to rise in turn. “We agreed to meet at dawn to depart for Ahm Areng.”

“If you could spare an extra moment,” the Exarch said unexpectedly, halting her in the process of getting her legs beneath her, “I should very much like to greet the day with you, Brynne.”

Once again, the sense of nostalgia overtook her, despite her best efforts. She had, several times in fact, cavorted the night away with G’raha Tia, and greeted the sun in the morning. It was an offer too tempting to refuse. “I would very much like that as well,” she agreed, relaxing back into her seat.

The silence that stretched between them as the sun rose at horizon’s edge was a comfortable cocoon, momentarily shielding them from the troubles of the world. And despite the fights yet to come and the questions which plagued her, in that moment Brynne could find peace.

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