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Kenís Journal Ė Entry One

Omi gave me a livejournal code. Then he walked me through getting a journal. This is really weird. What am I supposed to do with a journal? The first thing I did was make it a friends-only journal Ė and then I refused to list any friends. Whatís the point of a journal that everyone can see? Isnít a journal supposed to be a private thing? I donít understand why Omi is upset about that. No one else should be able to read a personís journal. Itís a private thing, right? I can put all my personal stuff in here.

Now I just have to think of some personal stuffÖ

Current mood: Confused

Current music: Youji singing in the shower (I donít think he knows we can hear him)

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Two

Aya made me work with Youji today. He just wants to work with OmiÖ Youji never does any work; he just flirts with the girls. Aya and Omi working together will leave nothing left to be done. But with Youji, I have to do all the work. Itís not fair. Why canít I work with Omi?

I wonder if Aya has a thing for Omi.

Current mood: Frustrated

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Three

The kids across the street are driving me CRAZY! I can understand about people wanting to listen to shitty music, if they think itís good. But do they have to play it so goddamn loud? This is incredibly frustrating! I canít concentrate! Argh! Will they never shut up???

Current mood: Angry

Current music: whatever crap theyíre playing across the street

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Four

Maybe itís Youji who has a thing for Omi, and Aya is trying to keep them apart. I was stuck working with Youji again, but heís been actually doing his work. He seems distracted, and I didnít see him flirt with a single girl. When I asked what was up, he just shrugged. There are things going on that I donít know about. But everywhere on the schedule, either Aya is working with Omi or heís working with me and Omi. Iím always working with Youji, too. I never get any shifts with Omi any more. Thatís weird, because Aya knows me and Omi are best friends.

Maybe I was right the first time, and Aya has a thing for Omi. Heís trying to keep Omi from working with me or Youji alone, so that he can have Omi all for himself.

He canít do that. Iím going to have to talk with Omi.

Current mood: Worried

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Five

Omi said not to worry about it. He says that Aya is having a problem but he canít talk about it with me, and the schedule change is just for right now. Then he asked me to trust him.

I hate it when he does that. How am I supposed to argue?

I guess Aya doesnít have a thing for Omi. Thatís good, though. I wouldnít want to lose my best friend, and if Aya and Omi were together, Iíd never get to see him. Aya seems like the jealous type, you know?

Objectively, thereís no reason for Aya not to want Omi. Omiís cute. That sounds stupid, but I canít think of any other words. Heís tall but not too tall, fit and well-shaped, and he has really pale, smooth skin. Plus, his face has this kind of beautyÖ I donít know how, exactly, just that it does.

Thatís weird, though. I donít know why I thought right away that Aya had a thing for Omi. Aya probably isnít even interested in guys. Maybe itís just because I know Omi is, that makes me think guys like him.

Current mood: Weird

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Six

Those kids are playing their music AGAIN! Is it just me, or does that music get louder every time? Goddamn itÖ

I need to escape.

Current mood: Irritable

Current music: I wouldnít call it music

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Seven

I got to work with Omi! But only after bugging Aya. I have to work a double shift, but thatís okay. Otherwise I wouldnít see Omi at all today, because of school and homework. I just finished my shift this morning with Youji, and Iím taking a break.

Then I work with Omi in a few minutes. He just got home from school.

The only problem is, now is when all the crazy girls come in and want to buy millions of flowers. That usually doesnít settle down for a few hours, so I wonít get to talk to Omi until weíre less busy.

Talking to Omi is worth it, though. It always makes me feel better, even if Iím already in a good mood.

Current mood: Content

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Eight

We watched a movie last night after the shop closed up. Youji stayed in and watched with us, but Aya didnít. I donít know why. He just said he didnít feel like it, and left. Omi looked sort of uncomfortable at that.

I get the feeling Iím missing something.

I donít remember what movie it was. Some action thing, I think. I remember that Youji left about halfway through, and Omi fell asleep leaning halfway on the couch arm somewhere near the end. He was looking tired earlier, too. It might have something to do with Ayaís problem. Omi worries too much. I had to wake him up so he could go to bed. I didnít want to, because he looked so comfortable. It was weird, I sat there and watched him for a while and missed the end of the movie. When they started rolling credits, I realized I should wake him up and go to bed.

I couldíve carried him, but I felt weird about that. Itís tooÖ I donít know. Too corny, I guess. Iím not sure what Omi wouldíve done if he woke up and I was carrying him.

Current mood: Confused

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Nine

No one tells me anything in this house.

And those kids from across the street are at it again.

ÖÖÖ

Goddamn it, why wonít someone make them shut up????????????

Current mood: Aggravated

Current music: Noise, and more noise

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Ten

Iím attracted to Omi.

I am

Attracted

To Omi.

Weird, huh? We were just fooling around, lounging on the couch, and flipping through channels. I stole the popcorn bowl, and he took the pretzels. I eat faster than Omi does, so I ran out before he did and tried to steal some of his. He pushed me back, but there was this second where we were really close, and I could feel him breathing.

Iím still just nineteen, I react to stuff like that. And I havenít had any kind of sex for a while. I never liked it being just casual, and I havenít had any time for a girlfriend. Being that close to Omi made meÖ you knowÖ

Itís stupid that I canít write it. No oneís going to see this.

I think I want to sleep with my best friend.

Current mood: Distressed

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Eleven

Whatever Ayaís problem is, I hope he works it out. Itís becoming more and more obvious that thereís something wrong. I canít even be around him any more. Iím pretty sure Youji feels the same way, too Ė heís avoiding Aya like the plague. Omi is the only one who seems to want to spend any time with him at all any more.

Omi should spend time with me. I would be better for him than Aya.

Thatís stupid, though, Omiís not with Aya like with him with him. Heís trying to help him with his problem. I want Ayaís problem to go away. Omiís time is precious. He should be spending it all with me.

Current mood: Jealous

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twelve

Got into a fight with Youji. What is his problem? I just asked him if he knew why Aya was being so upset all the time, and he snapped back that of course he didnít, and how the fuck should he know. Then he told me I should stop drooling down the back of Omiís shirt and ask Aya himself if I wanted to know.

I donít have to take that kind of shit.

Anyway, after weíd totally demolished the kitchen with our fighting, he muttered some kind of apology and went upstairs. I have a cut lip, and he has a black eye. I think that means I won.

And I thought Aya had problems. Christ!

Iím going to leave the house before Omi comes home and sees the kitchen. I donít know where Aya is, but Iíd rather not run into him before the mess is cleaned up, either.

Current mood: Annoyed

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Thirteen

Stupid house. Stupid roommates. Stupid fucking secrets!

STUPID MUSIC FROM ACROSS THE STREET!!!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: Infuriorated

Current music: ARGH!

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Fourteen

Guess what? Aya is in love with Youji!

Yeah, I know, I didnít believe it at first either. But apparently everyone knew except for me. Aya knew becauseÖ well, he had to. Omi knew because he somehow got Aya to confide in him. (donít ask me how, the kid is a fucking genius) And Youji knew because Aya confessed to him.

Yeah, thatís right. Thatís how the whole Ďproblemí thing started.

Youji said he was straight and didnít like guys after Aya worked up the nerve to confess. I guess Aya was avoiding Youji, and thatís why he scheduled himself to work with Omi all the time. And Youji stopped flirting with those girls because Ayaís confession was really making him think, and it made him irritable so thatís why he got pissed off at me for no reason.

Apparently Iím not the only one who jumps to conclusions, because Youji found Aya talking quietly with Omi and pretty much flipped out. Usually Youji is so laid back, you knowÖ It was kind of surprising to see him get so mad over something like this. He accused Aya of lying to confuse him when he was really into Omi, or something. Thatís how I found everything out. Who wouldíve thought Youji was the jealous type, huh?

Oh yeah, and Youjiís decided he wants to give the Aya thing a chance. So they sorta worked that out. Itís a little tense around here, but hereís hoping things are moving in the right direction.

What a day.

Current mood: Shocked

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Fifteen

Itís weird seeing Aya and Youji together. Iíd never have thought of it.

Omi called me unobservant.

Geez.

Current mood: Contemplative

Current music: Aya and Youji making out (not really music)

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Sixteen

I think the Aya and Youji thing is working. I donít know how, but they seem happy enough. Thatís good enough, I guess.

Iím not too sure what happened today. We were all sitting around, and Aya and Youji were trying to find a way to sit like a couple without looking stupid or awkward. It was kind of amusing, but I think Omi wouldíve smacked me or something if I laughed. I canít remember who brought it up, but someone said something about Ayaís decision to confide in Omi.

Thatís when Omi said he was the perfect person since he understood exactly what Aya was going through. That means heís got a thing for someone who doesnít return it. That made me angry, because I want Omi and someone else could have him, and they said no. So I promised to beat up whoever it was.

Thatís when, out of nowhere, Aya suddenly started laughing hysterically.

Aya.

Laughing.

I was so shocked, I forgot to be mad because it was me he was laughing at.

Omi tried to talk over Ayaís laughter and said that he didnít want me to beat anyone up for him. Then he made a comment about me being the only one of us left who wasnít specifically attracted to another guy.

Thatís when Youji started laughing right along with Aya.

I hate Youji.

Current mood: Irritated

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Seventeen

WILL THEY NEVER SHUT UP?????????????

Current mood: Pissed off

Current music: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Eighteen

Iíve decided I donít care about Aya and Youji. They suddenly want a lot of shifts together, so I get all the shifts with Omi.

I love Omi.

There was nothing to do today, so we were talking. I wanted to find out who rejected him, and he wouldnít tell me. He just said itís nothing, itís not important, donít worry about it. Then he asked why Youji started laughing when he said I wasnít attracted to any guys.

I changed the subject at that point.

Who wouldíve thought Omi could be so manipulative?

Current mood: Bemused

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Nineteen

Iím going to kill whoever Omiís in love with. Itís not fair. Why does someone else get him? And they donít even want him! I would be much better for him.

Maybe itís someone at his school. Thatíd be good. Some teen punk I can beat the shit out of. No oneís got the right to treat Omi like that.

Omiís mine. Mine mine mine.

No one treats my Omi like that.

Current mood: Protective

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty

Omi. Omi Omi Omi.

Omi.

Omi Omi Omi Omi Omi.

Iím fixated.

Current mood: Obsessive

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty-One

I will kill Youji. I will do it slowly, and painfully.

He told Aya that I ogle Omi. Ogle! Who uses the word Ďogleí any more? And I do not Ďogleí Omi! It makes it sound like Iím some kind of pervert!

I am not a pervert. Maybe I would like to rip off Omiís clothes and screw him senseless right on the living room floor. That doesnít make me a pervert. If I were a pervert, I wouldíve included whipped cream.

AhÖ actually, that sounds really goodÖ

Whipped cream and OmiÖ

ÖÖ.

Okay, now I have a problem.

Current mood: Horny

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty-Two

Having dreams about Omi. Not good. Need fresh air and a good washing machine for my sheets. Not good. Need to stop trying to peek through the cracks in the wall while Omi is getting changed. Not good.

Talking in disjointed phrases.

Not good.

Current mood: Frustrated

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty-Three

Omi fell asleep on the couch. Heís half curled up, and his shirt is bunching enough to show skin. Aya and Youji are getting along better than ever Ė by the distracting sounds coming from upstairs.

Iím on the computer. Trying to keep myself busy.

Distracting sounds + sleeping Omi.

Iím going to die.

Damnit, Iíve never been known for excessive self-control or patience. I could go upstairsÖ butÖ butÖ

Excuse me for a minute while I commit a terrible sin.

Current mood: Desperate

Current music: Aya and Youji doing naughty things (again, not really music)

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty-Four

Woke up Omi. Probably inevitable. Hard to sleep through molestation. Didnít seem to mind.

Is sleeping again, this time for good reason.

Got some. Very happy.

Talking in phrases again.

This time good.

Current mood: Satisfied

 

Kenís Journal Ė Entry Twenty-Five

I was Omiís unrequited love. Weird, huh? I mean, it wasnít even unrequited. But he didnít know that, I guessÖ

Weíre good now. If I can use Ďgoodí to describe what should be Ďdeliriously happyí. I am on top of the world. Omi is mine.

Mine mine mine, this time for real.

All is right with the world.

Current mood: Happy

Current music: Kids across the street (actually doesnít sound too bad now. Maybe Iíll have to borrow their CD)

 

The End