Don't Be A 'Sora' Loser

 

Izzy sat up in bed on a bright Saturday morning, face creased with worry. "Oh no! It's Valentine's Day already?"

He groaned, looking at his watch. "Great. Today is the only day I can tactfully tell Tai how I feel about him... Why did it have to come so soon? I'm not nearly ready!"

Diving across the room, Izzy hit his head on the wall, knocked himself unconscious, and was taken to the hospital, in a coma -- Argh, no, wrong story -- Izzy dug out his wallet. "Hardly enough to make a good impression," he sighed, viewing the contents, "But I guess it'll have to do."

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"WHAT!?" Sora stared at Tai incredulously. "What do you mean, you don't want to go out with me? How could you not?"

"Sorry Sora," Tai said, shrugging. "It's just that I think I love someone else. Someone who's not you," he added, as she seemed to be having trouble with this.

"Oh yeah?" Sora crossed her arms over her chest. "Who? What's this bimbo's name?"

Tai grinned sheepishly. "Um... 'this bimbo' is Izzy."

Sora's eyes narrowed. "Izzy, huh? Hmm." She smiled sweetly. "Oh well, my loss. See you around, Tai!"

As she turned, the smile dropped off her face. "Lose to Izzy? I don't think so! I'll get that scrawny little geek if it's the last thing I do!"

*Background music (darkly): Duh duh duh...

"Shut up!" Sora yelled, throwing a rock at the piano player.

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"Hi Sora!" Izzy said brightly, on his way to the store. He planned to have a balloon bouquet delivered to Tai's house, along with a card. "How's it going?"

"He's mine!" Sora snapped, glaring at him. Her eyes had weird, pulsating red veins around them. "Mine, I tell you! Mine! Bwahahaha, I will rule the world -- whoops, wrong story!"

Izzy blinked. "Huh? Who's yours?"

"Don't play stupid!" She scowled. "Tai, of course. He's mine, Izzy! Don't even think about going for him!"

Izzy rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, I'm real scared. Excuse me, Sora," he said, moving past her. "I've got to send Tai a Valentines present."

Sora glared after him. "A Valentines present, hmm?" She grinned evilly. "Well, we'll just see about that!"

'Twilight Zone' style music started to play.

"GRRRR!!" Sora ran over and smashed the speaker into the ground. "Stop that!"

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"Please deliver it to Tai Kamiya." Izzy told the girl Tai's address, then left the store. As he did, Sora came out of hiding.

"Excuse me," she said, to the girl at the counter. "My friend there told me to correct a mistake he made. Can I see the card he wrote?"

"I guess." The girl shoved Izzy's card to her.

"Thanks." Sora looked at the card. It read:
'I couldn't tell you in person, so I thought I'd just send a Valentine to let you know I think you're special. Love, Izzy.'

"Good." Sora rubbed her hands together and cackled. "Soon, my pretty, we shall have our reve -- darn it!!!! I mean, there's no name on this anywhere. Now..." She looked at the address record. "I know just what to change..."

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Tai looked out the door of his room. "Is TK still here? I though you guys were going out."

"In a little while." Kari smiled at her boyfriend. "Did you know that he got me flowers? See?" She held them out. Several were already dead, probably because Kari had been carrying them around since early that morning.

"I live here," Tai reminded her irritably. "I was around the first fifty times you told us about them."

"Well, I just have to get changed, and then we'll go out, OK, TK?" Kari hurried into her room, just as there was a knock at the door. "Oh -- can you get that, TK?"

"Sure." TK opened the door.

"Delivery for Kari Kamiya," said a girl, holding out a handful of heart-shaped balloons.

"WHAT!!??" TK turned nearly purple. "WHO ARE THESE FROM?" He calmed down a little. "I'll take them."

"Are you Kari Kamiya?"

"Uh...yes! Yes, I'm Kari Kamiya! Give them here!"

The girl looked TK up and down. "Um...OK," she agreed, looking off to one side. "Here you go, Kari."

"Thanks." TK slammed the door in her face, then pulled off a card that was tied to the balloons. He read it over carefully, and his eyes narrowed. "Must...kill..."

"I'm ready!"

"Hi Kari!" TK smiled sweetly.

"Oh TK!" Kari squealed. "Are those for me?" She clapped her hands. "You got me another present?"

"Uh... that's right! They're from me!" TK crumpled the card up behind his back and beamed at Kari. "Happy Valentines Day!"

"Oh wow -- flowers *and* balloons!" Kari tossed the wilted plants aside, ready to kill the balloons instead. "This is the best Valentines Day ever!"

"Uh-huh." TK glanced around. "Kari, I just remembered that I have to, uh... go do my laundry! Yeah, that's it! I'll meet you at the restaurant, OK?" He rushed out of the apartment.

Kari blinked. "His *laundry*?"

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There was a knock at the door. Izzy got up, smiling. *Maybe that's Tai. He should've gotten the flowers by now. I wonder what he'll say!* Izzy's heart started to pound. He opened the door...

"Oh. Hi TK." Izzy looked up. TK now towered over him. "How's it going?"

"Delivery to the Kamiyas?" TK said, holding out a card. It was the one from Izzy's balloons.

Izzy frowned. "Didn't it get there?"

"Oh, it got there." TK was breathing funny.

"And?" Izzy looked at the younger boy, concerned. "Are you all right, TK? You sound...odd."

"I'm -- just -- fine!" TK growled, through clenched teeth.

"You don't sou -- OOF!" Izzy was interrupted by TK punching him in the stomach.

"Stay away from my girlfriend!" TK yelled. "If you ever make a play for Kari again, I'll -- I'll -- I'll -- wash your socks!"

Izzy stopped moaning in pain. "Huh?"

"It's that whole laundry thing -- it's got me all confused... Never mind!" Stay away from Kari!" The angry boy stomped away.

"Kari?" Izzy stood up, recovering. 'I thing I'll skip lunch,' he decided, clutching his stomach. "Something must've gone wrong. I -- hmm..."

Outside of his apartment, Izzy caught a glimpse of a teenage girl on the ground laughing herself sick. "Sora!" he said angrily. "She messed this up!"

The 'Sudden Realization' music kicked in.

"What th -- ?" Izzy spun around. "Weird..."

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"This time, Sora won't be able to mess things up!" Izzy said to himself, satisfied. "Because I'll deliver these flowers myself! There's no way she could possibly -- darn it, my shoe's untied!"

Izzy set the flowers down on the sidewalk and started tying his shoe. "Hey, a penny!" He picked up the coin. "Ha ha, now I'm one cent farther towards my goal of buying out Bill Gates!"

"Hiiiii Izzy!" Sora held out Izzy's flowers, beaming. "I think you dropped these!"

Izzy snatched his flowers back. "Stay away from me, you -- you -- you varlet! Prepare to die!"

Sora stared at him.

"I mean, you changed the name for my balloons!" Izzy accused. "You sent them to Kari instead of Tai!"

"Why, Izzy! How can you say such a thing?" Sora smiled sweetly. "Besides, what proof do you have? You didn't see me."

"Never mind!" Izzy snapped. "You're not going to ruin things this time! I'm going to give these flowers to Tai if it's the last thing I do!"

"Oh darn, I guess I can't stop you." Sora sighed. "Well, go ahead. You win, I lose. The end."

"Good," Izzy said, turning away from her.

Sora watched him go with a huge, evil smile on her face.

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"Hi guys!" Izzy walked over to where Tai, Matt, and Mimi were hanging out, still holding his flower bouquet.

"Hey Izzy!" Tai grinned. "Who are the flowers for?"

"The flowers? Oh yeah, the flowers!" Izzy smiled shyly. "Actually, they're for -- huh?" There were crackling noises coming from his hand. "What's going on?"

Tai looked at the flowers. "Hey, those look like..."

*SNAP!!!!!!*

"FIRE-WORKS!!!!!!!!" Matt ducked and fell flat on his face, knocking Mimi over in the process. Izzy gave a shriek and dropped the bouquet, as sparks started to fly everywhere.

Tai grabbed the smaller boy and flung him to the ground, falling on top of him. Mimi started screaming about some hair-drier she'd accidentally dropped in the sink. Matt covered his head with both arms. The fireworks display started to die out.

"Nice show, Izzy," Matt said sarcastically. "Can we not nearly kill ourselves next time?"

"It wasn't me," Izzy said shakily, as Tai helped him to his feet. "I don't know where those things..." He suddenly realized how close he was to Tai. 'Oh my gosh... Maybe Sora did me a favour this time... "

"MY BRAND NEW SKIRT!!!!" Mimi shrieked. She turned toward Izzy, a murderous look in her eyes. "PREPARE TO DIE!!!!!!!!!"

"Eeps!" Izzy took off at top speed, with Mimi in close pursuit. Behind the bushes, Sora was laughing wickedly...

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Izzy trudged towards Tai's apartment, a box of candy under one arm, fingering his brand new black eye. 'Who knew Mimi had such a mean right hook,' he thought ruefully.

"Candy?" Sora said scornfully, coming up behind Izzy. "Don't you know when to quit?"

"Actually -- " Izzy began, but Sora cut him off.

"I told you, Izzy, Tai's mine." She snatched the candy from him. "So back off!"

"Sora, you don't underst -- "

"Listen, twerp," Sora said, annoyed. "I understand perfectly. You're trying to put the moves on *my* Tai, and I'm not going to stand around and watch it!" She opened the box of candy. "So this is just going to have to become mine, got it?"

"Wait, Sora!" Izzy said, trying to grab back the candy. "There's something you need to know! That's not -- "

"Not yours," Sora finished smugly. "It's mine, now. Don't get in my way! Got it?"

Izzy sighed. "All right, have it your way."

"Good." Sora took a huge bite of one of the chocolates. "Mmm, good." She stopped in mid-chew suddenly, and her eyes widened. "This tastes a little..." Her eyes started to water. "HOT!!!!!!"

Dropping the box, Sora ran screaming towards the apartment, nearly knocking Izzy over. Grabbing the sprinkler off the front lawn, she held it over her mouth.

"Um... Sora?" Tai stared over at her from the front door of his apartment. "What exactly are you doing?"

Sora didn't answer. She was too busy trying to swallow the sprinkler.

"Hey Tai!" Izzy said brightly, walking over. He handed the candy box to the older boy. "I was walking past the joke shop, so I picked up that joke candy you ordered. Here."

"Thanks, Izzy." Tai took the box, smiling. "Listen, I've been trying to talk to you all day."

"Me too." Izzy managed a shy smile. "I tried to get you some Valentines presents, but they all turned out wrong. Now I'm out of money, but I still want to say I think you're really special. Is that OK?"

"Better than OK." Tai leaned forward and kissed Izzy lightly on the lips. Both of them smiled. "Well, since you're broke, I guess I'll have to treat you to dinner."

"Sounds great," Izzy said, beaming. "Let's go."

Tai glanced behind him, to where Sora was spitting out the grass she'd accidentally swallowed along with the sprinkler water. "Uh... what about her?"

"Oh, she'll be fine." Izzy grinned. "Come on, Tai. Leave Sora to her fun and games. She deserves it, after all." He took Tai's arm and led him off.

The 'Romantic Ending' music cued in.

Sora moaned and collapsed on the lawn. "No...music..." A flute fell out of the sky and hit her on the head.

 

The End