Dream Deferred

 

Revelations

 

"I need sleeeeeeeeeep."

Ken raised an eyebrow, standing over his own bed and staring down at its not-entirely-unwelcome occupant. "Great. Fine. Have a nap, then. But not in my bed!"

Daisuke blinked innocently. "But I get lonely!"

"Okay, then…" Ken thought for a moment, licking his lips. Then stay… sleep in my bed. Under me. Or over me - whichever. Just as long as we're both naked and one of us is - "Sleep on the floor. I need rest as much as you do - maybe more."

The red-head sat up, interest caught by the new challenge that had been issued involuntarily. "Oh yeah?" he shot back. "Well, I have three tests tomorrow before the long weekend, and I've been up studying all week! Beat that!"

"I've got four tests tomorrow, and I had one today. I've been studying for the past three weeks." Ken tried to keep the smirk from spreading across his face, but he doubted that it worked. "I'm taking more advanced courses than you are, so don't even try it, Motomiya."

"So?" Daisuke frowned, his face a picture of concentration as he tried to answer this new information back with something even better. "You're a genius, remember, Ichijouji? You don't even need to work much for grades, but I gotta get no sleep at night or I won't even pass!"

Guiltily, Ken recalled that he hadn't once broken his policy of having a minimum of seven hours' sleep per night. "All right," he gave in, sinking down onto the bed beside Daisuke. "You win."

"Yeah! Of course I win! I'm a born winner!" Daisuke grinned at him, and raised a suggestive eyebrow. "Care to join me in a victory celebration? We could hold it right here on your bed." He patted the bed, and smirked.

"I'll pass." Ken grinned in response. "But don't hold up the celebration because of me. Feel free to hold it on my bed, just don't spill anything on the covers."

Responses to Daisuke's come-ons came easier now, but the temptation was as strong as ever. I should tell him, one of these days… It should be easy, damnit! He's bi - why wouldn't he be open to the idea of fucking around a little? Especially to break out of that teasing cycle Miyako's got him locked into. And I already know he finds me attractive… he's as much as said so.

The problem, Ken knew, was that he'd waited too long to try something. He didn't even want to have one passionate night with Daisuke any more. Well, he did… but not just that.

He wanted an actual thing. Like, them being a couple. Dating. Seeing each other, and no one else. He wanted Daisuke all to himself, and he wanted to be held and named, in turn, as Daisuke's own as well. Sure, the sex would be great all on its own… but as much as Ken wanted that, he realized that if his partner didn't share actual emotions, he'd wind up being left with something more on the unrequited side…

Which wasn't exactly what he wanted for himself. Not by a long shot.

"Ow! That one got me!" Daisuke flopped back dramatically. "You just had to make a comment about my poor sexually frustrated self, didn't you? No fair!"

Ken shrugged. "I didn't know there were rules."

"Damn straight there's rules! No hitting below the belt!" The red-head twisted and grinned again. "Unless you do it nicely - and repeatedly."

Times like that made Ken wish that Takeru or Miyako or even Iori were in the room to tell Daisuke that he was being an idiot and to shut up. They weren't there, though - Iori was busy writing a book report, Miyako had gotten permission from a teacher to use the labs that night, and Takeru was making one of his monthly phone calls to a family member of some sort.

So it was just Ken and Daisuke. Alone. In Ken's bedroom.

Sitting around and complaining about being tired.

You'd think we were heading in for retirement rather than college, Ken considered, amused for a moment. We're both attractive, and both attracted to males… Since we're in those 'hormonal teenage years', one would think we'd be having wild sex at this point. Or some kind of sex, anyway.

"You wish," he said out loud. There wasn't really anything better to say, and his words lacked force, but Daisuke would probably chalk that up to Ken not taking him seriously.

"But you never make my wishes come true." Daisuke blinked, his eyes big and mournful.

Ken smiled, and didn't answer; truthfully, he couldn’t think of anything to say. "Why do you care if Takeru asks you to go along when he sees Hikari?" he asked, changing the subject.

Daisuke shrugged, not batting an eye at the sudden subject change. "I dunno. I feel like I'm included that way, I guess. Like maybe they want me around? When I wanted to be with Hikari, they always acted like I was a pain. Know what I mean?"

Ken shook his head. "I wouldn't know. I've always been one of those important people that everyone tried to suck up to. That's different." He sank down beside Daisuke on the bed, close enough so that their hips were touching, and waited for the red-head to shift away.

For whatever reason, that didn’t happen this time. "So which one of us was worse off, you or me?" Daisuke grinned, looking up. He was still lying on his back, and Ken was sitting up, but the contact remained. Ken's heartbeat started to hammer in his ears.

"We didn't have a bad deal." Ken shook his head in an attempt to calm himself down a little. "I've got a lot of money because of it, and you've got a great group of friends who would never betray you."

"Yeah." Daisuke looked away from Ken and smiled to himself. "I really like where I'm at right now."

Ken continued to stare down at him. "Me too." I need to tell him soon, or I'm going to go crazy! Maybe on the long weekend, I'll think of something… Yeah… Then. Not now.

~~~~~~

Somebody honked a horn loudly outside, then repeated that twice more, one long and one short. Takeru's head shot up from his textbook, and he looked out the window sharply. "All right, they're here!" He grinned, and stood, dumping his textbook on the floor carelessly. "It's about time!"

Daisuke looked up from the bed. "Who's here? Who was that?"

"Taichi and Yamato," Takeru said shortly, and headed for the door of his room.

"Taichi and Yamato?" Miyako repeated incredulously.

Ken stared around, baffled, at the reactions. "What are they doing here?" Iori asked, green eyes widening.

Daisuke recovered first. "Well, let's go find out!" He jumped of the bed, knocking his books to the floor, and ran for the door. Ken and the others followed behind him.

When they got to the front doors, they found Takeru there talking animatedly with a taller blonde. The other guy had meticulously styled hair and striking blue eyes. Behind him, grinning like an idiot, was a shorter man with a huge mop of brown hair. The car that Ken assumed to be theirs was parked across two spaces that were reserved for teachers.

"Taichi!" Daisuke let out a yelp and charged toward the brunette. He stopped just before he reached him, and grinned, shoving his hands into his pockets. "How's it going?"

"Not bad." Taichi's grin was so like Daisuke's that Ken blinked. "Just taking a break from college, you know, to check up on my little sister and Yamato's brother."

Ken turned to Miyako, who was standing right beside him. "Who's his little sister?"

"Hikari." She shrugged. "That's how she and Takeru got to know each other - Yamato and Taichi were best friends for a long time, and introduced them."

"Oh." So then Taichi was Hikari's brother, and Yamato was Takeru's. Ken watched Daisuke chatting earnestly with Taichi, and felt a little jealous. Don't be ridiculous! Like you have a right to be jealous over him…

That didn’t help any.

"Hey Ken!" Takeru waved him over. "This is my older brother, Yamato. Yamato, this is Ichijouji Ken, Daisuke's new boyfriend."

Ken felt himself turning red. "I… I'm not…"

"Sorry." Takeru smiled. "I was just kidding. Not that Daisuke doesn't wish it was true, though."

Ken wasn't sure what to say to that. He… wishes it was true? Or is that just another joke?

"Hey!" Daisuke glanced up, looking indignant. "I heard that, Takaishi!"

"I'm aware of that, Motomiya."

Ken decided to keep his mouth shut.

"So… how come you and Taichi are here?" Miyako asked, stepping up beside Ken. "We didn't even know you were coming."

Taichi and Yamato glanced at each other. "Takeru didn't tell you?" Yamato asked, raising an eyebrow.

She shook her head. "Not a word."

"Why wouldn't you?" Taichi asked, glancing at Takeru. The shorter blonde looked uncomfortable. "It's not like it's a secret or anything. Just me, Yamato, my sister, and Takeru taking a trip up to my parents' cabin up in the mountains, that's all."

"What!?" Daisuke said incredulously. "You're going to what?"

Takeru sighed. "That's how we're spending the long weekend."

"Why didn't you tell us?" Miyako demanded.

"Because… well…" Takeru took a deep breath and didn’t look at Daisuke. "Because I happen to know that some of you would've tried to be invited along."

Daisuke looked like he was going to expode.

"We want to be alone for once." The blonde suddenly looked irritated, probably with their reactions. "Is that too much to ask? I mean, she's my girlfriend, not yours. Got that straight, Motomiya?" He gave the red-head a meaningful look.

Daisuke's expression was furious. His face was starting to turn red, and Ken had a sudden terrible suspicion that if he were left like that, he'd probably try to punch Takeru.

"Dai, didn't you want help with your math?" Ken tried to be cool about it as he walked in between Takeru and Daisuke, casually wrapping a firm arm around the red-head's shoulders and leading him back toward the door. "I've got more studying to do tonight, so let's get to it now, huh?"

None of the others commented as they went by.

"Daisuke's new guy has a lot of sense," Ken heard Taichi say. He didn't bother to stop and correct him.

"I'm going to kill him," Daisuke growled, when they made it to his room. "I'll tear him apart. Let me go back there and kill him!" He tried to push past Ken.

Well, I didn't take those judo classes for nothing… With some effort, Ken managed to pin the shorter boy against the wall. "Would you calm down?" he said irritably. Under other circumstances, holding Daisuke to the wall by his wrists might have been exciting; at the moment, it was just an irritation.

"You calm down!" Daisuke was still red with anger. "I can't believe they're doing this to me!"

"What is the big deal?" Ken asked, exasperated. "If you were dating someone, you'd want to have some privacy once in a while, wouldn't you? And it's not like you still like Hikari. Is it?" Say no. Come on, no… you don't like her. You can't still like her…

"No." Daisuke scowled. "But it's not fair! They're leaving me out! I knew they'd eventually leave me behind; they've got each other, and I'm their stupid third wheel!"

"That's not the reason they're going!" Ken sighed. "Even I can understand that, and I haven't known either of them for as long as you have! They're probably sick and tired of having three chaperones along on all of their 'dates'… or didn't you notice that Miyako and Iori weren't given invitations either? It's not about you!"

Daisuke didn't appear to be listening. "Yeah, good old Daisuke, always around when someone needs a laugh! But then they just throw me away when they're done snickering!" He scowled. "They can't get away with that! I'll show them!"

"Show them what?" Ken asked. The red-head wasn't fighting his hold any more, so he let go, still standing between Daisuke and the door.

"I dunno… something," Daisuke muttered. His eyes sparked furiously. "They had no right to do this to me! I can't believe them!"

Ken sighed. It was going to be a long weekend, in more ways than one.

~~~~~~

Takeru left the next day, right after classes. Miyako and Iori were there to see him off. Ken would've gone as well, but he'd been not-so-subtly told - by Miyako, naturally - to stay in Daisuke's room and keep him from either trying to stop them from leaving or attacking Takeru. The red-head sat on his bed, seething, as Ken waved from the window.

"They're leaving," he reported, turning to look at the still-sullen boy behind him.

"See if I give a shit!" Daisuke shot back, scowling. "I hope their car crashes on the way!"

Ken left the window, and sat down beside him. "Things don't seem right when you're this upset," he noted, not bothering to choose his words with any care. Daisuke wouldn't mind.

"They're such losers!" Daisuke looked away, glaring at the wall. "Both of them!"

Ken watched him, not saying anything. It's been more than a day since the last time he made a joke, or even smiled… It was disturbing to see such clinging fury. Usually, Daisuke's bad moods lasted for an hour or less; seeing this one go on for so long was making Ken worry more than a little. Even having Miyako tell him that it was normal Daisuke behavior for a situation like that one didn't help.

Maybe it's because I actually do… care about him. The thought crept into his head unbidden. It seemed to fit, much as he'd love to say that it didn't. If so, I should tell him. After all, if what Takeru said was true…

It might make him feel better. A lot better. Hope made his heart race, and he was abruptly very nervous. Tell him! his mind urged him.

"Daisuke?" He licked his lips, and gathered up what courage he could.

"What?" The red-head didn't even look up from the wall; his voice was irritable.

"I…" Ken's palms were starting to sweat. He wiped them on the bed, and went on. "… have to go to the bathroom. Sorry."

Why did I say that? That wasn't what I wanted to say! He got to his feet hastily and hurried out the door, not waiting to see if Daisuke had a response. Why is this so darn difficult?

"Whoa! Hey, watch it!"

Ken backed off hastily. He'd almost walked right into Iori. "Sorry," he apologized. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

"I noticed." Iori gave him a strange look. "Is something wrong? I was just coming up to see if Daisuke's temper had improved any since I saw him last."

"I don't know when you saw him last," Ken admitted. "But it hasn't."

"That bad, is it?"

"Yes, it's that bad." He managed a slight smile. "He hasn't even made any kind of innuendo since yesterday."

Iori shook his head. "He'll snap out of it, don't worry."

"Yeah." Ken moved to get by him. "I have to make a trip to the bathroom, though, so I'll leave you to watch Daisuke."

"Actually, if he's that bad, maybe I'll just leave him alone for a while," The younger boy reasoned. Then he frowned. "Wait. Is there something the matter?"

"Nothing much," Ken lied. "I'll see you later." He started down the hall again.

"Well, whatever's going on between you and Daisuke," Iori said, after him, "I hope the two of you work it out soon and just make all of our lives easier."

Ken froze. "What?" He turned around to demand an explanation, but the younger boy had already turned down another hallway.

He… knows? Ken let out a long breath. How much? Does everyone know?

The idea that the others had all been speculating about it behind his back was just a little disturbing. So help me, if they've actually started betting on this… Ken ran one hand down his face, slowly.

Okay. That thought just about clinched it. It's not fair to Daisuke that everyone else should know, when he doesn't. Right? Ken squared his shoulders. I'll tell him. It'll be a lot better to get it off my chest, anyway. And he won't care… I mean, he'll probably be flattered. Even if he doesn't… want me that way, it might make him feel better about himself…

That decided, he turned and made his way back to Daisuke's room.

The red-head was busily ranting at Miyako when he opened the door and walked in. "Can you believe what they did?" he demanded, red-faced. "They've just - "

"Gotten a little hard-earned privacy?" she interrupted, with a smirk.

"No! They're being such idiots! I can't believe they'd just ditch us like that!" Daisuke punched the wall. "Damn it, I’m so mad I could kick something!"

"Well, if you're going to be like that, I'll leave you alone." Miyako turned and smiled faintly at Ken. "You can use some of my first-aid cream for any bruises he gives you. Good luck." And she left the room.

"You're with me, right?" Daisuke glanced at Ken briefly. "Yeah. We'll kill 'em together. Stupid Takeru and his stupid girlfriend!"

"Daisuke…" Ken swallowed, trying to calm the sick feeling at the pit of his stomach. This is it, he realized. If he rejects me… There's no one else. That thought was a bit of a shock, but it rang true. It's all him, and only him. Daisuke… "I have to tell you something. You see" - he took in a deep breath - "I have… feelings for you. Strong feelings. More than… just friendship."

The red-head stared at him, then turned to glare at the wall. "I don't believe this!"

Oh no…no… Ken took another shaking breath. "I don't… really know how it happened…" He faltered, feeling stupid. He's never even seen me like that; he only thinks of me as a friend… I want everything about him, want him with me always… He kept that firmly in mind, and continued his confession. "I… feel like we have a connection. Something special - deep. I don’t know; maybe I'm kidding myself." Daisuke's rejection suddenly seemed inevitable, and it hung over his head like certain doom.

"It's just… impossible!" Daisuke kicked at the floor fiercely, and Ken jumped. His nerves were strung tight, and the red-head's violent reaction to his words was not helping. "How could they do this to me? How could they?"

Ken looked up at him sharply. They?

"They know I hate secrets! This… argh!" The red-head looked like he was going to start breathing fire. "Those… those traitors! I can't believe this! I just can't fucking believe it!"

They. Ken stared at Daisuke almost incredulously. He's still talking about Takeru and Hikari. He watched the shorter boy rant, feeling almost numb. He hasn't been listening to me. He hasn't heard a word I said.

"Daisuke?"

"I'll bet they're talking about me right now!" Daisuke growled. "They're probably having a real good laugh, huh? Some friends!"

Ken frowned. "You know what?" he said loudly.

"They're not even worth it if they're going to be doing stuff like this all the time!"

Ken took a deep breath. "I'd like to lay down on an alter naked and let you fuck me repeatedly until you pass out," he said, in a casual tone. "What do you think of that?"

Daisuke turned to look at him, and for a moment, Ken thought that he'd actually been listening. "I don’t think they're good friends at all," he said then. "What do you think, Ken?"

"What do I think?" Ken repeated, slowly. His face felt hot; he was angry. "Fuck you," he said, in his most pleasant tone. Then he raised his voice and repeated it for emphasis. "Fuck you!"

He turned and stalked out of the room, ignoring the shocked expression on Daisuke's face.

Miyako was standing just outside, which somehow didn't surprise Ken, even in his furious state. She raised an eyebrow at him. "An alter?" was her only comment.

"Shut up," he told her, and left down the hallway leading to his room.

~~~~~~

I'm so stupid.

Ken fell back on his bed, groaning. Why did I do that? He didn't even hear me! He didn't know what the hell I was talking about! Why did I do that!?

The answer was simple enough, and it came to him quickly: You're an idiot.

That was about it. He was Ichijouji Ken, the child prodigy, the genius boy. He'd gotten numerous scholarships, uncountable letters from schools begging him to attend, and a ton of media attention in his home city. Ichijouji Ken, the brilliant teenager, the promising youth… the stupidest son of a bitch who'd walked the face of the earth.

Damn.

Oh well, that's that… I'll have to apologize when he asks why I said that… Hell, I'll probably never get around to telling him now. Feeling resigned, Ken pictured Daisuke in his head. Why'd he have to be so damn hot? Mental pictures were going to be all he could get - he might as well enjoy them, right? Ken shut his eyes, and watched Daisuke's clothes melt off. Mmm, yeah… That's the stuff… You're paying attention to me now, aren't you?

Unconsciously, he licked his lips, blocking out what had just happened in Daisuke's room. In his daydreams, he knew just what to do. He'd hold those golden-skinned wrists and start by tonguing his way down that slick throat. There'd be just the faintest hint of moisture on Daisuke's skin, just enough so that he could slide his teeth lightly over it and make the body beneath his tremble.

Ken's hand crept down his chest, as his dream self slid one knee between Daisuke's.

"Fuck me, Ken," the phantom voice whispered desperately.

"Shhh." He actually hissed that out loud, reaching for his zipper…

And someone knocked on the door.

Shit! Ken sat up, feeling like someone had just doused him with cold water. "What?" he called, a bit breathlessly. Well, hopefully whoever it is won't notice…

Another series of knocks answered him.

Ken sighed. "Fine." He stood and made his way over to the door, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat. "I'm coming. And if this is Miyako" - he swung the door open - "I'm going to…"

Daisuke stood in the doorway, fidgeting nervously, with both hands behind his back. "Hey," he said, smiling almost hesitantly. "Can I come in?"

"Um… sure." Ken moved aside, then shut the door behind him. "Look, Daisuke," he began. "I'm sorry I got mad. It's because I was talking and thought that - "

"Yeah, I know." Daisuke shrugged. "Takes me a while to catch up with what you're saying sometimes. I get upset about the stupidest things… like Takeru and Hikari, when all they want's a break from me, 'cause I've been so frustrated and wanting to butt in on them…" He took a deep breath. "Sorry."

Ken blinked. He hadn't actually expected Daisuke to apologize to him; the red-head usually liked to play the wounded party whenever he could. "Okay," he said slowly, wondering if Daisuke had some hair-brained plan to catch him off-guard.

"Uh… yeah. Anyway, I talked to Miyako, 'cause I knew I'd upset you and I didn't hear what you said." Daisuke shrugged again, and shifted some more, obviously on edge about something. He didn't meet Ken's eyes. "So, I thought I'd come and, you know, give you an actual response… You know?" He didn't seem to realize that he was repeating himself; that was another sign that he was tense or excited about something.

I guess she told him… Cold dread built at the pit of Ken's stomach. "I… yeah…" He suddenly found himself very interested in the way his fingers were flexing. "Didn't mean to put you on the spot," he muttered, not looking up. "No big deal if, you know, you don't feel the same or anything."

Daisuke grabbed his right shoulder, leaned up, and kissed him.

It was brief, and clumsy, and it had taken Ken by surprise. Daisuke's lips were mashed against his a little too hard at first, then a little too softly. Slowly, after the initial shock began to wear off, Ken started to try and kiss back. It was a classic first kiss, nervous and sweet all at once. After a moment, the red-head pulled back to catch his breath.

Ken gaped at him. "So… you… you do feel… the same?"

Daisuke looked perplexed. "What did you think all those come-ons were? Me admiring the sound of my own voice?"

"I…" Ken felt like he could hardly breathe; he was staring down at Daisuke, whose hand was warm against his shoulder, and they'd just kissed for the first time. He actually does! I can't believe… "I thought you were joking!" he finally managed to get out.

Daisuke blinked. "Really?"

"Yes!" Ken was exasperated. "For Christ's sakes, Daisuke, if I'd thought you were actually serious, I'd have jumped you a long time ago!" That reminded him… "And that had better be on the agenda, now that you know how I feel!"

Daisuke responded to that by pushing him against a wall and attacking his mouth with trademark enthusiasm. Nervousness went out the window for the moment.

"Mm… fuck, yes…" Ken pushed Daisuke's shirt down over his shoulder, tearing out a couple of the seams in the process. He wanted to bite down hard, devour him… "Mmm…" He settled for running his tongue along the unblemished skin at the joining point of his shoulder and neck, then sucking on it, trying to get a taste. Like sweat and… skin. Daisuke's skin. I'm sucking on Daisuke's neck… holy fuck - holy fuck!

"Hmmm…" Daisuke let out a whimpering-sighing sort of sound and ran his hands desperately over Ken's body. They felt like touches of fire, and the taller boy felt like he could reach orgasm just from the way their bodies were grinding together.

"Bed," he gasped, breaking away from Daisuke's neck. The red-head caught his lips again, and liquid fire shot through Ken's body, making him writhe helplessly.

Somehow they stumbled a little and fell sideways onto Ken's bed, Daisuke on top, their legs dangling over the edge. For a minute, Daisuke broke away, breathing heavily.

"Clothes… too many…" he gasped out, tearing suddenly at the buttons on his shirt. He managed somehow to wriggle out of it without causing further damage. Ken's shirt wasn't so lucky, because by that point Daisuke was impatient enough to just rip the thing apart. Buttons went flying, and Ken was left with the sleeves still on, but he didn’t even care as Daisuke hesitantly licked at one nipple, and then started planting sloppy, desperate kisses on his chest.

"Uh-nn…. Daisuke…" He groaned, instinctively grabbing tightly at the red hair poised just over his stomach. "Mmm… yes…" Unconsciously, he tried to push lower, to get the source of that delicious hot suction down to the more important places.

Daisuke painstakingly took the time to fumble with the button and zipper on Ken's pants. His fingers were trembling, but he managed to hook them around the waist of the trousers and Ken's underwear, and pull them down.

Even through his haze of lust, Ken was aware that this was the first time he'd been naked in front of someone who wasn't a member of his immediate family, and he could feel his cheeks grow hot until they were flushed just like the rest of him. There was no way to hide his arousal now, even if he'd needed to. And he was conscious of Daisuke's stare - even though he could see desire in it, he still felt slightly awkward.

"You're so beautiful, Ken…" Daisuke's voice was just a hushed whisper. In the next second, he was hastily rushing with the zipper on his own pants and tugging them down so that he was able to kick them the rest of the way off when he lowered himself down over Ken yet again. The dark-haired boy only got a brief look, but it was enough. Every inch of him… I want it…

Daisuke wormed himself in between Ken's thighs, and went back to kissing his stomach, making the taller boy want to scream. Get on with it already! He shifted his hips, tossing his head sideways, and groaned. The red-head seemed to get the picture, and moved again, hesitantly grasping his partner's legs to move them apart. Without any further hesitation, he leaned forward and took the end of Ken's erection into his mouth.

"Ah-h-h-h!" Ken's back arched, his eyes went wide, and his hands tightened almost convulsively on Daisuke's shoulders. He strained against the red-head's grip on his hips, groaning mindlessly. This… was…

Incredible.

It didn't take him long to come… Ken had just a moment to gasp something that might've been a warning - which Daisuke ignored, anyway - and then he was snatched up in a climax that made him cry out hoarsely, burying his fingers convulsively in the covers and jerking helplessly. Oh god… oh… god…

Daisuke backed off just when Ken's writhing was starting to slacken along with the spasms of heady pleasure that had been causing it. He spat in his hand, wiped his mouth, and pulled himself up so that he could start kissing his partner's neck and shoulders again. His breathing was erratic, and Ken could feel Daisuke's erection against his own slack hip. "Ken…" He ran his free hand over the taller boy's ribcage, lust and just the slightest bit of desperation coating his voice.

Ken spread his legs further and went limp, still trembling. "Fuck me," he breathed, without even thinking about it. Daisuke's motions were halfway arousing him again, even with the fact that he'd just been brought to climax moments before.

"Shh." Daisuke pushed himself away, his breathing erratic. "Just… let me… here…" He shifted a little, with a purpose.

Ken didn’t care what it was. He grabbed Daisuke's shoulders and thrust his hips up to achieve more of the contact that seemed to drive the red-head wild. "Ah-h," he heard Daisuke gasp. The red-head bit down on his shoulder, hard, and started showering desperate, sucking kisses over the taller boy's neck. Ken pushed himself up rhythmically, feeling like he might almost be able to reach a second orgasm like that.

"Shh…" Daisuke's voice was shaky, and he put one hand clumsily on Ken's chest to calm him. His fingers were trembling too. "Just… a second…"

Ken was unprepared for the invasion of Daisuke's finger, slicked though it was. "Uh-h-h…" He squirmed a little, feeling strange and somewhat uncomfortable.

Daisuke was holding himself up shakily on one elbow, and his eyes were a touch wild as he stared down at Ken. "You… okay?" he asked, somewhat hesitantly, and his finger moved slightly.

Ken nodded shakily. "Yeah." His voice was hoarse. "Yeah… good. It's good." The way Daisuke shifted against him helped; the touch of his smooth flesh, the way he breathed, the expression of intense want on his face. It was strange; Daisuke had been so impatient, rushed… and now it was like he was afraid he'd break him.

"Mmm…" Ken's back arched when the finger was almost hesitantly pulled out and then it and another were pushed back in, wriggling around. It wasn't really painful… not quite… The pressure and his desire seemed to mingle strangely, which didn't feel unpleasant. The way Daisuke brushed against him, his skin just slightly sweaty, was erotic enough to feed his growing desire.

Daisuke removed his fingers then, and Ken whimpered faintly. The red-head leaned forward after a minute and nipped at the prominent tendon on his partner's neck before guiding himself into the same entrance his fingers had just loosened for him.

This did hurt.

Ken gasped, clutching at Daisuke's shoulders. The red-head slid in more, and sharp sparks of pain and pleasure raced through him. "D… Dai…" Ken shut his eyes tight and let out a strange half-whimpering, half-groaning noise. It felt like something was being torn, and his insides were stroked at the same time, Daisuke's skin brushing hot and damp over his…

"Ken…" The red-head's voice was rough, almost guttural. "K-Ken…" He grunted, and his body shook with strain. "Ah-h-h… yes… yes…" He pulled himself out, the effort of keeping everything slow showing in the sweat that built on his forehead, and the way his face screwed up tightly. Then he thrust back in.

Ken clutched Daisuke's shoulders tighter, and groaned, twitching slightly with pain and incredible hints of pleasure. The next thrust hit something just right, and he gasped, back arching again as his body shook. That… yeah, that could… I could…

"Dai…suke…" he gasped out, pleading, and found himself gifted with another well-angled thrust. He cried out, not caring who might hear.

Daisuke's next couple of thrusts came a little closer together, and his face grew even more strained. "Ke….Ke…" He was cut off by an echo to Ken's cry that escaped his own throat, and his body spasmed in orgasm, every inch of him jerking convulsively. One of his hands, almost in a hasty afterthought, groped at Ken's erection, still shaking, and stroked it quickly. Almost immediately, Ken screamed as a second round of intense sensation rocked him. Daisuke held him a little awkwardly as he shook and twitched helplessly.

For a moment, afterwards, they just lay there, breathing heavily, Daisuke resting against Ken's chest as they recovered from their exertions. Better than I thought…Ken smiled wearily, still a little dazed from the experience. Fuck, how'd he do that? I'm ready to fall asleep, right here…

"Mmmph," Daisuke mumbled, moving up a little to press his face into Ken's shoulder. "That was good."

"Mm, yeah," Ken agreed, breathing slowly to try and keep himself from falling asleep. He realized that his eyes were closed, and opened them to gaze at the naked form of his lover. Beautiful. "I thought you were a virgin."

Daisuke frowned against Ken's skin. "I was." His voice was lazy but confused, and he shifted a little.

"Then where did you learn how to do that?" Ken ran his fingers lazily over the expanse of Daisuke's back. "You knew exactly what to do… exactly when to do it… How?"

"We're at an all-boy school." Daisuke's shoulders barely moved in a slight shrug. "You think I'm the only gay guy here?"

Ken hadn't thought of this. Of course, it made sense, considering. "So you get together and talk about sex, that it?"

"No!" Daisuke snickered a little, moving to find a comfortable position against Ken. "But… when you got here… I… well… I know who's been sleeping around. So I tracked 'em down, and… asked. How. You know. To make it good." He found a good spot with his face pressed into the space where Ken's neck and shoulder met. "I got so laughed at, too. Worth it, though." He sighed, sounding content.

"Mmm." Ken nodded slightly, accepting this. "I could… love you," he said, almost truthfully, beyond caring in that tired, comfortable state. "I could… so easily. Right now."

"Really?" Daisuke's voice was muffled against Ken's throat, but he definitely sounded interested. "Me?"

The response was so… Daisuke. "No," Ken couldn't resist saying, sarcastically. "The other guy I just finished fucking."

"Oh." Daisuke grinned against Ken's skin. "Anyone I know?"

"Shut up."

"Shutting. Oh, and… uh… love you, too," Daisuke added quickly. He shifted a little, and the skin on his face grew warm against Ken's chest.

They lay there like that for a moment, not really talking, just listening to the sound of each others' breathing. Ken could feel the quick, steady beat of Daisuke's heart against his chest - they were that close. It was comforting and thrilling all at once. I've slept with Daisuke. And I've said that I love him. Well, sort of… Some part of him still couldn't believe it, thought it was a dream, but if it was true, it was perfect… just right

This kind of feeling - need, caring, confusion - couldn't feel this nice unless it was returned. It couldn't. The days and weeks of confusion, of wanting, of being tortured by Daisuke's closeness, had been complete hell at the time. Now, everything seemed more than worth it. I can hold him like this now… I have a right to love him like this…

"Yeah." It was a little late to answer Daisuke, but neither of them was in a position to care much, too busy being full of the moment, and full of each other. Ken ran his fingers over Daisuke's back again, absently. He looks gorgeous naked, all that golden skin… Mmm… Surprise, surprise…

Daisuke shifted a little. "I think we gotta go visit the showers."

That made sense. All right, I can sleep later. I wouldn't want to wake up all…ugh! "And, after that?" Ken gave him a questioning look. "Your room or mine for the night?"

"Who cares?" His grin was careless.

"You've got a point." Who cares indeed. As long as it's the two of us, together. Ken smiled to himself, and hauled himself up painfully to get some towels out of the closet for them.

That's good enough for me.

 

Epilogue