A Crazy Continuation

 

It was a dark and stormy night in the digi-world, when --

SORA -- Oh puh-lease! 'A dark and stormy night'? How overdone is that?

AUTHOR -- Well, I have to open the story up somehow! I thought you guys didn't like 'calm' stuff!

JOE -- We don't, but that doesn't mean you have to revert to the old, worn-out horror phase. What's going to happen next, 'Agumon meets Dracula'?

All of a sudden, Dracula leaped out and attacked Joe.

JOE -- OK, OK, I'll stop complaining!

TAI -- What kind of story is this, anyway?

AUTHOR -- Hmm, let's see. I thought I'd do a drama. Maybe an evil digimon will capture Mimi because he wants to force her to marry him, while meanwhile, Tai is madly in love with Sora but she's uncertain of her feelings for him, so --

MIMI -- Excuse me? An evil digimon wants to marry me? What the heck is that? Besides, if anything like that ever happened, I'd knock him into the next century!

IZZY -- And who were you expecting to rescue her, anyway?

AUTHOR -- You could do that! Then, in a touching scene with the enemy destroyed and Mimi safe in your arms, you could declare your undying love for --

IZZY -- Gag me! I don't think so!

MIMI -- Who says I can't rescue myself, anyway? What, do you think I'm a stupid little ditz who'd just sit in a tower, saying, 'Eek, this is horrible. Somebody save me'?

AUTHOR -- We-ell...

TAI -- Could all of you people please stop writing stories where I'm a pathetic, love-struck, babbling idiot? How come I'm always the one who's desperate for attention from someone who doesn't seem interested?

MATT -- Because when your mind is blank, any new kind of idea can be overwhelming.

TAI -- Hey!

AUTHOR -- Well, maybe I'll have Matt in love with Sora...

MATT and SORA -- NO!!!!

SORA -- If that was the case, I don't think I'd be uncertain. I'd know I wasn't interested.

MATT -- I'm way too cool to be 'madly in love'. Tai is the babbling idiot, not me.

TAI -- Hey!

AUTHOR -- If you're so cool, how come you're such a pain in the a$$ all the time?

MATT -- I am not a pain in the a$$!

TAI -- You attacked ME when we were in the middle of trying to save the world from evil digimon.

MATT -- YOU were being a pain in the a$$!

TAI -- How? By trying to defeat the evil guys?

AUTHOR -- That doesn't sound right. Why were you trying to fight someone who was on your side?

TAI -- A tree talked him into it.

AUTHOR -- A tree!?

MATT (defensively) -- It was a very convincing tree!

SORA -- Come on, Matt! You have to admitt, even Tai wouldn't be that stupid!

TAI -- Hey!

MATT (muttering) -- An evil guys must've switched our brains or something.

AUTHOR -- Excuses, excuses. You were a pain in the a$$.

IZZY -- Yeah, and then Mimi got all whiny and wouldn't come with us!

MIMI -- Hey, I had a good reason for that!

AUTHOR -- Which was...?

MIMI -- Um...I forget.

IZZY -- See? She's an idiot!

MIMI -- Shut up, you nerd! At least I'm not super-glued to a computer! Don't you have any real friends?

IZZY -- You mean friends with real brains, or people like you?

AUTHOR -- Now I want to do a Mimi and Izzy story! You guys are so cute together!

IZZY and MIMI -- NO!!!!

Izzy was always so shy when he was around Mimi. In his eyes, she just always seemed so beautiful. If only he could tell her how he felt. "Mimi," he would say, "when I'm near you, I just want to -- "

IZZY -- Puke! I just want to puke! Besides, there's no way of knowing if she's beautiful or not! One look her way and the pink blinds you!

MIMI -- You ignorant little twit! Pink is a beautiful color!

IZZY -- Yeah, maybe in the world of 'Fashion-Deprived Digimon Characters' it is!

Mimi looked over at Izzy and sighed. Why couldn't he pay attention to her? He was so smart and wonderful. All she wanted was for him to --

MIMI -- Jump off a bridge and land head-first on concrete! That would seriously make me happy!

AUTHOR -- Aww, you don't mean that.

MIMI -- Wanna bet?

AUTHOR -- Well, I can't make Izzy jump off a bridge. I like Izzy.

IZZY -- Then why are you torturing me like this?

AUTHOR -- All right, all right, I'll do a story about Mimi and Joe.

JOE -- Why are you dragging me into this?

AUTHOR -- Because Izzy won't cooperate. I need someone who'll go along with my story.

JOE -- Well, don't look at me. Sappy love stories are not my thing.

AUTHOR -- Hmm. OK, Mimi and Matt!

MATT -- Why are you even bothering to try?

MIMI -- Give it up, we're not interested. Why don't you go bug somebody else?

TK and Kari were --

TK -- Oh, don't even go there! We're way too young!

KARI -- Can we leave our relationship where it is, please? I'm not going to plant a big wet one on some guy who isn't even out of primary school yet!

TK -- Especially since she's not out of primary school yet either!

AUTHOR -- You people are all so frustrating! Fine, I won't do a TK and Kari story! Now, who's left...?

TAI -- Oh no! No way!

SORA -- We won't do it!

AUTHOR -- Oh really?

TAI -- You can't make us!

Tai stepped close to Sora and took her in his arms. "Oh Sora," he whispered breathlessly. "I love you."

SORA -- You do?

TAI -- It's a lie! She made me say it!

Sora sighed and gazed up into his eyes. "I love you too, Tai. I don't think I could live without you."

TAI -- Really?

SORA -- No! No! I didn't mean it! It wasn't me!

AUTHOR -- Oh, you're just being mean! That does it!

Agumon suddenly sneezed really loud, and all of the digi-destined were fried by his breath.

AGUMON -- Whoa, that can't be good. (shrugs) Ah well, life goes on.

Agumon then sidled over to Biyomon, raised his eyebrows and said, "So, what're you doing later?"

BIYOMON -- NOT going out with Agumon!

AGUMON -- Hey, who's writing this script anyway?

AUTHOR -- (groans) Not again!

THE END (Well, then again, maybe not)


A Crazy Conclusion