Crash and Burn

 


When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you

Izzy sat in the subway station, waiting for a train to take him home. Although he appeared to be completely absorbed in his rapid typing, he was well aware of the fact that his friends had all left rather than sit and wait for his train to come. He was sitting alone in a room full of strangers.

Glancing up from his screen, Izzy caught only impassive and uncaring faces all around him. He quickly hunched over his computer to hide his fear and unhappiness.

Give me a moment, please
To tame your wild, wild heart.

A warm hand fell on his shoulder, and Izzy looked up, startled, to find a kind face staring down at him, eyes sympathetic behind the glasses.

"Hey," Joe said softly. "Your friends told me you were here. I thought you might want someone to wait with you."

"I would... thanks, Joe." Izzy stared up into Joe's eyes and saw a smile in them... a smile that was for him alone, something that Joe meant to be his. In an instant, that smile trapped him without meaning to -- claiming a part of him that had until then been wholly free.

And the strange part was, he didn't mind being caught.

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief, and people can be so cold

"Hi guys." Izzy set his lunch tray down at a table full of kids his own age, most of whom had claimed to be his friends when they needed help in class. "How's it going?"

"Um... great..." The girl who'd spoken gave him a weird look. Her tone indicated that she was dying to add 'until now' to her sentence.

Izzy looked around the table, and saw similar looks on the faces of the others. "Is something wrong?"

"No... we've gotta go." One of the boys stood abruptly, taking his tray with him. "There's a, uh, meeting today. See you later." He walked off.

One by one, the others at the table followed, until only Izzy was left, staring down at his tray in complete misery and feeling cut to the bone at his exclusion.

"What does that geek think he's doing, sitting with us?" one girl whispered, not too quietly, to her friend. She snickered.

"No kidding... What a loser!" More giggles.

Izzy pushed his tray away. He couldn't eat around the lump that had risen at the back of his throat.

When darkness is upon your door
And you feel like you can't take any more

Desperate for some sort of release, Izzy headed for the computer room, only to find it...

"Locked!" Izzy gasped, shocked. "No!" he cried, pounding on the door. A few kids giggled as they passed him. No one stoppped, though.

Izzy wanted to cry.

(CHORUS)
Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I won't let you fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend your broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone

"My life is a joke!" Izzy moaned. "A joke!" He buried his face in his hands, feeling perilously close to tears.

"I don't hear anyone laughing." Izzy spun around, embarrassed at being caught in such a mood. Joe again. How does he manage to be around whenever I'm upset?

"You weren't hear earlier," Izzy muttered, in response to Joe's comment.

Joe shook his head, and sat next to the younger boy on the park bench. "But I'll bet it's nothing I haven't gone through already." He studied Izzy's face. "Need a shoulder?"

"No," Izzy lied, even though he could feel all the unhappiness from that day rising in him.

"You don't want it," Joe corrected. "But you need it. Come on." He put a comforting arm around Izzy's shoulders.

Something in Izzy broke. With a sob he couldn't control, the younger boy flew into Joe's arms, crying hysterically. Joe patted him comfortingly. "Shh... Izzy, it's OK."

"Th-they hate me!" Izzy cried, through his tears. Grief-forged sobs racked his whole body, as he finally let out all the emotion he'd built up.

"Not everybody hates you," Joe reminded him, reassuringly. "I don't hate you. Your parents don't hate you. And what about Tai, Matt, and the others. They don't hate you."

Izzy gulped in a breath, still crying but no longer plagued by sobs. "I know... it's just... it's hard, sometimes..."

"I know. But I'm here for you, Izzy." Joe hugged his shoulders. "Always."

Somehow, Izzy felt better just from hearing that.

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one-way street
With the monsters in your head

Izzy stared blankly at his computer. It was Saturday night and, as usual he was at home. His parents were out, it was dark and quiet, and with Joe not there, his words didn't seem as comforting.

Why does he care, anyway? Izzy wondered. He threw himself on the bed, another bout of loneliness catching up with him as he thought back to the many times he'd been snubbed, ignored, or just out-and-out laughed at.

When hopes and dreams are far away
And you feel like you can't face the day

Joe's got friends, so he can just laugh off whatever other people say. Izzy slammed his fist into his pillow, wanting to release some of his pent-up misery. Most of my friends -- my good friends, anyway -- are older and they don't have time for me.

Sometimes... Izzy trembled at the turn his thoughts were taking. Sometimes I wish I could just... die...

(CHORUS)
Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I won't let you fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night.
If you need to fall apart
I can mend your broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone.

Izzy was still trembling as the sound of the phone ringing echoed into the reciever he held next to his ear. He was afraid that no one would pick up, or that Joe would be out for the night. I don't want to be alone with my thoughts! They're even starting to scare me!

"Hello?"

Izzy felt ready to cry with relief. "Joe..."

Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again

"Izzy? What's wrong? Are you all right?"

"Not really... Joe, I keep torturing myself. I wish I could make it stop."

"Don't worry, Izzy. It won't last forever. It's like the night or something -- and the sun always comes up the next day, right?"

"Maybe, but... I'm sort of afraid of what I might do while it's still night." Izzy twined the cord nervously around his fingers.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when I feel so alone... I-I just caught myself wish I could die, and it's kind of frightening... I shouldn't be thinking that... it's dangerous... because I start picturing how I could do it..." Izzy started to cry softly.

A moment of silence. "Izzy?"

"Yes?"

"Don't move. I'll be right there."

Then a 'click' and the dial tone sang into Izzy's ear.

You'll breathe again...

Izzy jumped into Joe's arms the minute he appeared at the door to his apartment, not crying, but desperate for someone who cared.

"Like me," he whispered fiercely, then stared up at Joe's face imploringly. "Please."

The look in the older boy's eyes more than answered that plea. More than like, they seemed to say.

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment, please
To tame your wild, wild heart

"I do like you," Joe said, his eyes warm, his expression open. Izzy could not turn from Joe's face... from the look he saw in Joe's eyes.

The smile. For him, and no one else. The smile that, earlier on, had reached into Izzy's soul and claimed his heart.

"I love you," Joe stated softly, and at once the misery that had shadowed Izzy was driven away. He was loved. Joe loves me. He loves me!

At the moment, words weren't needed. Izzy could think of only one response.

Slowly, he lifted his head, until their lips met, their souls caught in a sweet embrace, and their hearts blended together.

(CHORUS)
Let me be the one you call
If you jump, I won't let you fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend your broken heart
If you need to crash, then crash and burn
You're not alone.

 

The End